Where is Happiness?

Do you move through life feeling everyday is the same? Like some repeated pattern that goes on and on? For some people, there's nothing new to do under the sun, and nowhere to go. Everything is just boring, boring, boring. They work so hard to earn enough money to play, but yet their playtime passes so fast. Suffer five days, enjoy two days. Sometimes, to break the monotony, they seek thrill through intoxicants (alcohol, smoke), sex, and even drugs. For these temporary pleasures, it feels exciting while it's happening, but once it's over, the same pattern of meaninglessness sets in, and they're left thinking, "When can I get the next high?"

Perhaps you will recognize this scene... Two old men are sitting on a bus. As the bus passes by the red-light district, one old man says to the other, "Hey... aren't you going to see the chickens (prostitute) today?" The other man raises an eyebrow... a spark in his wrinkled eyes, "Yes, yes, I will be going this afternoon!" The first old man smirks, and says, "You didn't even bring your medicine, how can you DO IT?"

For some people, their lust is so strong, that they borrow money from family and friends, just to visit brothels. You will see this pattern in addicts. Drug addicts, sex addicts, alcohol addicts. They're always looking for the greater thrill and the next high, and that's what sets their life on a downward spiral. They waste their time, energy, and money, instead of using it to build success.

For life to have zest, everyone needs that natural feeling of drive, anticipation, and excitement. When one does not know how to get it naturally, one may resort to vices to stimulate that sense of being fully alive, desperately trying to bring some meaning into life. But you see, happiness is within you... If you can’t satisfy your wants, then the other way to happiness is to release them. Let go of that which you must have. Shakyamuni Buddha said that, "All desire leads to suffering..." Suffering because you crave what you do not have. And let me ask you this: Is this yearning self-created? Or something imposed on you by the outside world? Perhaps it's the outside world's fault because other people keep flaunting their luxuries and exotic experiences. But surely, we create this yearning within ourselves. It is within our power to control it, or release it altogether.

Lord Richard Layard, Professor from the London School of Economics, a leading happiness researcher, says, "Happiness is a balance between your expectations and your attainments. One way is to get what you want. The other, is liking what you get."

Many of our desires are misplaced. We think getting them will bring us happiness, but that is an illusion. These misplaced desires are nothing more than temporary pleasures. You don't need to satisfy your desires to be happy; you need only release them. Do you need the attention of the opposite sex? No, as you get older, your body parts will sag, and the opposite sex will pay less attention to you. Must you get laid to be happy? No, as you age, your sex hormones will lessen, and so will your desire to mate. Must you wait till you have a million bucks? Nope. Historical and worldwide research shows that above US$15,000 a year, higher income is no guarantee of greater happiness.

The people who feel good everyday, without resorting to vices, have one mental characteristic in common. They have a dream, and they know what they want to achieve in life. This sense of purpose drives them; gives meaning to their existence. They have discovered their soul's calling, and are living life to the fullest by following it. This is different from those who are 'party animals', "living life to the fullest" by drowning in deafening music, and shaking till the sun rises... That's not living, that's dying.

If you want to find true meaning and happiness in life, then you've got to uncover your life's purpose. For each of us has a unique destiny. A path made specially for you to walk on this journey through life. Follow it, and you arrive in paradise. Ignore it, and you continue to wander... wasting time, and life itself.

1. You need to know what you’re made of. Your talents, strengths, and abilities.

2. Craft a vision for yourself, and visualize that dream in your mind.

3. Work out a plan that sets your goals and decides what actions you must take to achieve them.

4. Tell your closest friends about it, and commit yourself to taking five of the planned actions everyday to build your dream.

When you see that your actions are creating results, it will be a natural source of excitement and inspiration. Instead of spending time, energy, and money on vices, you invest it in creating an upward spiral of success. By releasing your desire for temporary pleasures, you kick your bad habit out the door. By choosing to live your purpose and answer your soul’s calling, you break free from the chains of monotony, and find truth, meaning, and happiness in life.

About Author

Lance Ong is a Licensed Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Master Practitioner of Hypnotherapy and Timeline Therapy. He does life coaching to help clients gain clarity of purpose, while removing mental blocks to success. Learn Lance’s philosophy for better living at his Internet Blog Site – “Wisdom to Create a Beautiful World” – www.lancism.com



Source: ArticleTrader.com

The Incredibly Simple Secret to Happiness

Do I believe there is a secret to happiness? I'll bet you expect me to say "NO, there is just no simple secret." While it is true that there are many factors that affect our happiness, I believe there is one secret that determines whether those factors will work for you, and that is the secret to happiness.

But first, allow me to share a some history. In 2001, I published the first edition of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness. I did all the things authors do, right up to getting myself some media interviews. Being an old hand at media relations (actually, Canada's send-most-quoted consumer advocate at the time), you would think I would have been superbly prepared for the question that almost every journalist would ask me:

"So, which of the 9 habits is most important?"

What?! Which one is most important? Why, they are all important, of course. That's why I wrote about them all. I was obviously too close to the forest to see the trees. Or, in this case, the tree.

After being asked this question a few times, I was forced to think, and think hard. And out of nowhere, I had an "Aha!" moment that stands the test of time five years later.

One of the 9 habits I wrote about is more important than the others. One of my 9 habits activates all the others. One of my habits is the secret to happiness. It starts on page 83 of the second edition.

"Count Your Blessings"

It sounds so simple, and so, well, almost corny. But let me give you a concrete example of how this works.

Arithmetic for Happiness

Have you ever bought a new car? Remember the pride you felt and the excitement when you made the choice? When you signed the papers? When you drove it off the lot? Do you remember that "new car smell"?

Then something happened. Where is that pride today? Where is that excitement now? What happened to that "new car smell"?

Simple. You stopped counting your blessings. When you bought the car, it was a step up. Perhaps it was a better car. Or a bigger car. Or simply a car that would spend less days on the hoist. You were grateful. You were appreciative. You were counting this blessing.

It does not take long for a new blessing to be taken for granted. And the new car becomes just another thing in your life that you take for granted. Consider this incredible set of statistics:

- 99% of people in the developed world take shelter for granted.

- 99% of people in the developed world take breakfast for granted.

- 99% of people in the developed world take lunch for granted.

- 99% of people in the developed world take dinner for granted.

- 99% of people in the developed world take clothing for granted.


At the risk of sounding trite or glib, most people in the developed world take cars, televisions, computers, vacations, toasters, freedom of speech, paper clips and thousands of other conveniences for granted. In fact, a TV remote control that requires a battery change or a web page that takes more than five seconds to load are considered serious irritations.

Who is happier, the person grateful to be able to change those batteries and wait for that web page? Or the person grumbling about the time it takes and the inconvenience and the bother and why can't things work better? (Why don't they make things like they used to? Why does the lineup have to be so long? Why is it so cold outside? Why do I have to go to work today?)

Of course you have every right to complain any time you choose. Nobody wants to take away your right to be unhappy. But I would love to take away your unhappiness, if you are willing to take action.

Arithmetic Is Not Always Easy

This is where "counting your blessings", simple and even corny, is not as easy as it sounds. Our knee-jerk reaction is to complain, to grumble, to be frustrated, to feel almost offended when things don't work out "perfectly", just the way we want them to. Imagine poor God, sifting through the millions of prayers he receives daily. Despite the cornucopia of blessings we receive, I am willing to bet that he receives ten times more "Gimmee" prayers than "Thank you" prayers.

Counting our blessings in this day and age of entitlement is not as simple as it sounds, and it sure is not easy to do. In fact, billions of dollars of advertising conspire to reinforce the belief that whatever we have is not good enough and that we deserve better. Who is there to tell us we have enough? Who can help us feel happy with what we have?

You. Only you. Are you ready to give up your own natural knee-jerk reaction and choose to be happy?

You can have all the confidence in the world, but if you do not actively feel grateful for the fruits of your confidence, it will not bring you happiness. You can have immaculate health, but if you do not think about how wonderful that is, it will not bring you happiness. You can smile, build friendships, achieve success, win the lottery, or do whatever you desire, but if you are not saying every day, "Wow! This is wonderful. This is grand. I am the luckiest man (or woman) alive because of this," don't expect it to bring you happiness.

Yes, Virginia, there is a secret to happiness. The secret is simply gratitude. The secret is appreciation. Or, as I call it in Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness, the secret is to count your blessings.

About Author

This is an excerpt from 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. David Leonhardt is the author of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness.



Source: ArticleTrader.com

Happy Talk and 3 Simple Secrets to Happiness

What is the one thing you want more than anything else for the people you love the most? If you had a magic wand what would you grant your family and friends? What is it that everyone wants?
To be happy!
How can you make other people happy until you are happy? How can you be happy?
Lester Levenson, creator of The Sedona Method, discovered the key to happiness. He searched for 47 years and nearly died in the process but he did find it. Do you want to know what it is?
Lester had a breakthrough after much soul searching and found out how to be happy only after reviewing his entire life. He spotted a common pattern, one that was present in every happy moment.Whenever he was feeling love towards another person he felt happy.And whenever he felt any other feeling he was not happy.
Test this principle for yourself. Think of a time when you were blissfully happy. Did you feel loving at that time? This works for me every time. Is this easy or what? Simply amazing!
If this sounds too simple to work I know that you have not tested it for yourself. Turning on a light bulb is easy too only because someone else figured it out!Now it is time for Happy Talk or how to talk in a way that makes your family and friends happy...

1 Be Happy Yourself
Spend twenty minutes asking yourself:
- who do I love most in my life?
- what do I love most about myself?
- what things do I love most in my life?
After doing this exercise you will feel much happier. And you will have done it without having to spend any money on expensive clothes, cars or holidays!

2 Spread the happiness Now that you feel happy you will radiate this to whoever you spend time with. Happiness is infectious. Just be yourself and top up the happiness by quietly asking yourself the above three questions when you are in company.

3 Show your friends and family how to be happy Depending on how well you know your friends you may want to approach this step in one of two ways.
If you want to play it safe ask your friend to talk about timeswhen she was happy. Let her talk and just listen as she relives those wonderful times from the past.Share your own favorite moments too. Enjoy yourself!If the people you are with are more open to the ideas we are discussing here take them through the steps I covered above in section one. Ask them these questions:
- who do you love most in my life?
- what do you love most about myself?
- what things do you love most in my life?
The Dalai Lama teaches that the purpose of life is to be happy.
Go on and live a life of purpose with your family and friends!

About Author

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm




Source: ArticleTrader.com

Happiness - It's Worth It

We all want to be happy, don't we? Is there truly anyone out there that would choose a life of anxiety and depression if faced with a choice? I don't think so, and having a positive attitude about happiness can change everything. I think deep down, we all want to be happy and I'd like to show you how all of us can achieve this happiness.

Life is fraught with problems. Maybe a divorce recently occurred or is in your near future. Maybe there has been a recent death in the family. Perhaps your kids have driven you to the last of your wits with their defiance. So, with all of this to be unhappy about you may ask, why be happy?

For starters, it's healthier. A person that does not let their problems weigh on their mind also does not let stress get to them physically. It is proven that happier people are healthier. They choose to focus their mind on the positives in their life therefore they keep their stress levels down, which keeps the heart pumping regularly, the blood flowing nicely, and the blood pressure down.

Need another reason for happiness? How about a positive influence on those around you. If you are a parent, or aunt or uncle, you have little ones looking up to you and learning from you as to how to deal with life. If you are often in public, your influence is felt by everyone you have contact with. A positive influence is definitely better and more productive than a negative one.

Success in your life's pursuits is also a reflection of your mental state. If you go into your life's work with a negative attitude, you may be able to keep the job because you are doing the work, but you probably will not have much success in that job. If you want to have success in all of your life's pursuits, you must go in with a positive attitude. If you think that your accomplishments are small, they will be, but if you expect those accomplishments to be big and make a difference, they will be. Your attitude will certainly influence your successes in your life's pursuits.

One of the first steps to take in accomplishing this happiness is to figure out within yourself what keeps you from being happy. Is it a major event in your life that's constantly on your mind? Is it a feeling of incompetence? Is it a self esteem issue that's been with you since your youth? Working this out within yourself is an important step. Journaling is an excellent way to do this.

If you sit down and make a list of everything that is bothering you, you will have a much better chance of coming upon the thing that is truly holding you back from being happy. Not a writer? If you have a close friend that you can confide in, maybe you could bend their ear and together you and the friend will find the source of the problem.

If you don't want to confide in someone you know, maybe a therapist will help. Once you've had an opportunity to work out what the problem is, you will be in the right position to draw up a plan of attack and finally reclaim the sunshine in your life.

Once you have found the source of the problem, it is time to eliminate it. If your dark cloud comes every time you think about the problem, you have to find a counter device. If your mind tends to dwell on the negative, every time your mind goes there, find something that makes you happy to think about. After you've done this a few times, it will become a natural thing for you to refocus your mind on the positive when it drifts to the negative.

If you're upset and are having a hard time finding happiness because of a temporary event in your life, try reminding yourself that this is temporary and eventually you'll be able to look back on it with less than negative feelings. By remembering that nothing lasts forever, you'll better be able to focus on the positive that will eventually return to your life.

Happiness is something that everyone can achieve. It is something that everyone deserves and it's worth working for when times are rough. A focus on the positive will remind you that the negative is temporary and that no matter what, there is always something in life to remain happy about.

About the Author

Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of my-personal-growth.com, a site that provides information and articles for self improvement and personal growth and development.

Article Source: OnlineEarnings Article Board

The Natural Formula for True Happiness

"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands." Remember that song from your childhood? Sometimes I sing it to my kids and it always makes them laugh. Do you know if you're happy?

Abe Lincoln said, "Most people are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Based on history, we know that Lincoln had tremendous personal, business and political problems throughout his entire life.

In order to overcome his many disappointments, bear his heavy burdens and accomplish all that he did, while still considering himself to be a happy person, Abraham Lincoln must have realized that he was responsible for his own happiness.

But, if that's true, how do you create happiness? Is there a formula that we can use? And, if so, what is it?

Recently, British researchers interviewed and studied a wide selection of over a thousand men and women to find out what makes people happy. Their intention was to discover a formula for true happiness. Here's what they found.

Whether you're young or old, married or single, you probably already realize that men and women are different, right? After all, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. So therefore, the research results would have to reveal something that most of us already know - men and women find their happiness in different ways.

You're probably aware of some of the ways, but others might surprise you. The women, for example, enjoyed being with family, felt good when they lost weight and said that sunny weather really turns them on. These were the specific daily events that, on the whole, were found to most influence women's happiness.

Men, on the other hand, had a completely different list for their favorite happy events. The men's happiness was most influenced by hobbies, sex and the victories of their favorite sports teams. So far, is anybody surprised?

But weren't there any areas where men and women agreed? Happily, there were! Both found that, in priority order, good health, strong friendships and financial stability were at the top of their list. And that's not all the grounds for mutual happiness.

This research proved that, without a doubt, what had the most influence on a person's happiness was his or her general attitude about life. That included feelings about their past, adaptability to their present and expectations for their future. In other words, an optimistic, positive point of view creates happy feelings.

So, what's "The Happiness Formula"? Just like Lincoln said, you have to first make up your mind to be happy and lay down a foundation of optimistic attitude. Changing your perspective to a positive outlook about your past, present and future can take some work, but happiness is worth it.

Next, you need to add health, friendships and financial stability. This means you take steps to get and stay healthy, cultivate relationships and effectively manage your finances.

After that, throw in a sprinkling of all the other male or female things that turn you on - depending on which you are. And, voila, according to research, you've got the natural formula for true happiness!

About the Author

Michael Byrd has over 18 years of education and experience in the fields of physical therapy, health, fitness and nutrition. Michael shares the many fish oil health benefits he has discovered as well as other nutritional breakthroughs that will help you to get happy and stay happy along with feeling better and staying healthy. Get your Free CD by visiting http://www.omega-3.us.

Article Source: OnlineEarnings Article Board

Happiness Is Like Building A Home

People always ask me why am I always so happy even when this are not so good.
I usually tell them the first positive thing I see or feel, My view on life really is that things could be worse, Believe me someone somewhere is having a worse day for completely different reasons.
If you are reading this then life really is not so bad, You can read which allows you to learn and become a better person, If you have access to a computer you must have some means which makes you far richer that say a starving child in a country that may be ravished with drout. Even the person starving may feel positive in some ways as they have the sun on their back when it could also be very cold it depends on your view.

This is Your starting point, be very aware of the good things you have around you, regardless of how small they are, and this will give you something to build on. This then is how you take control of your happiness, Find something you enjoy and do it, Start with simple things like going for a walk in a nice place, the beach, a park, it burns calories so will make you look better, If you lack company go somewhere where there are people, say hello, It costs nothing. My wife likes clothes and love to shop online at www.j-lou.com because they are different, If she's having a down day as I call it, I buy her something to cheer her up, it turns up like a present and take her out somewhere she likes wearing her new article of Womens clothing

This usually works as she then becomes more happy and I get the spin that my life seems happier also. This works for me to lift her, as two things come out of it the feeling that I have surprised her and taken enough notice that she needs help and enjoyed some time with her as i have the excuse to take here out.

You can also get Happiness by giving to others, Then reap the reward of your efforts. Adding memories and becoming more aware of what others need It brings people closer to you, Prepare that special meal, share a bottle of wine or have a chat over a cup of tea/coffee Its about effort, Happiness is not going to say hello here I am, happy every after, You do have to put in the effort.
If you have recently gone through a break up remember there is always someone else, there is always You to count on, Learn to like yourself, again starting at the positive points, ie, I am a man, I'm not too short im not to tall, I'm not brad pitt but I'm not the elephant man either
(yes he had positives, no one wants to pay and see me lol), I can hold a conversation, I can swim, I can drive, I've got a car, i haven't finished but won't go on, But you can see how suddenly if I mount these up There would be lots of things to like about myself, NEVER bring yourself down.
By stripping things back to basics this allows us to see clearer that happiness is formed within us learning to be happy with what we have today and anything else is a bonus our expectation levels which we put on ourselves reduces. ( EXPECTATION: the root causes of sadness ). not having a bigger house, not having a better job, more money, better car, etc, etc.

Test: Heres a test for you,

Make your self a really nice sandwich sit down and take your time and enjoy the flavours.
The next time you make a sandwich start making a second one whilst eating the first.
The latter is Far less enjoyable.
You will see that this is what people do with their lives they do not appreciate whats in front of them whilst chasing the dream.

Today will never be here again and a week when healthy would be swapped for a year with serious illness, a cuppa with a friend is worth more than a night at a premier with No-one to talk to or share with, Each sunrise mean a new day ahead the past is something to learn from and the future is the unknown adventure.

Put your best foot forward and make it a good day and happiness is but a short step away.

Womens clothing

Please post this article and It just might help someone, This would be your first step in getting joy by helping others.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Jacobs

Happiness – Discover The Number One Enemy Of Happiness

It’s amazing how almost everywhere you look today you can see stories about people who do all kinds of things to acquire happiness. There is more money, more entertainment, and more opportunities in the world than ever before but there seems to be even more unhappiness than ever before.

You see, people try to find happiness in things like money, relationships, and other material things, but find that it just leaves them empty. The truth of the matter is that you can never be truly happy unless you are doing what you are made to do. There is something on the inside of you that has huge potential and the ability to change the world you live in.

And the main reason why you, along with most people, don’t accomplish that greatness is because of fear. Fear is the main enemy of happiness. If you had no fear, then you would do whatever it is that’s in your heart to do. And by doing so, you would be happy because you would know that you are doing everything you were meant to do in this life.

What fears are holding you back from living your best life? What is it that you dream about doing but are afraid to do? The thing is this, you could have all the things in this world at your fingertips, but if you knew that you weren’t doing what you were born to do, you would live a miserable and unhappy life.

Expose fear, confront it, and make a decision to defeat the enemy of your happiness. Living to your full potential in life is the greatest, most fun, and most thrilling thing that you could ever do.

Is there greatness on the inside of you but you don't know how to achieve it? Jason has just completed his brand new 7 part e-course, 'Find Your Greatness'

Get it free when you subscribe at: http://www.findyourgreatness.com

Jason and Rebecca Osborn have dedicated themselves to changing thousands of lives by helping people find their greatness and true potential through their Find Your Greatness Newsletter.

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The Art of Happiness- Be Happy Now

Would you like to be 100% happier than you are now? How about 1,000% happier? What stands between you and having greater happiness now? Read on to see how you can discover the happiness you're looking for in your life. It's just one step away.

Have you ever noticed how often people rely on others in their pursuit of happiness? How they expect someone else to make them happy? You might hear people say things like: "If only he would be nicer." "Didn't she know that would hurt my feelings?" "I would be happy if he would only talk to me more."

When people have this idea in their head they can spend a lot of time figuring out how to fix or change other people.

What's the trouble if you try this strategy? Not only do the other people feel irritated, they often get defensive at your attempt to "FIX" them. And it leaves you powerless. If THEY don't change, YOU can't be happy.

But even more important is that, since what you focus your attention on grows, focusing on what you don't like will cause it to become what you notice most in your life.

Say, for example, when your significant other comes home they often leave a trail with their clothes, bags, books, whatever, strewn throughout the house. It drives you nuts! Every time you look at the residue of stuff they leave behind them, you feel irritated.

This has gone on for so long that now you notice every little piece of debris, everywhere you look, all the time.

And what you focus your attention on grows.

Perhaps you say something like this to them: "Can't you pick up after yourself? You are such a slob."

It's probably not the first time you've talked about the clothes on the floor. And probably not much has changed since that first time. So what happens next?

The person leaving the clothes around probably gets annoyed at being told what to do. You lose hope that things will ever change. And you focus more and more on what you don't enjoy about your partner.

Remember, what you focus your attention on grows!

So here it is, the step that will move you closer to being happier than ever before: Develop YOUR ability to focus your attention on what you ENJOY.

Maybe this sounds too simple. But ask yourself: "What would my day be like if I started and ended it by simply noticing or remembering everything that I enjoy in my life?"

Remember, what you focus your attention on grows. Focus on what you enjoy - it's quite simply the fastest, easiest step you can take to start finding happiness in every moment.

Try this. Pretend that you have an emotional bank account. Every one of your thoughts makes a deposit. This means that if you're constantly depositing painful memories in your emotional bank account, they will grow and grow.

They'll even start multiplying if you're using the law of compound interest. What's this? It's compounding the effect of thoughts like: "What a slob!" with more thoughts like: "She doesn't care about me." or "He's the most selfish person I've ever met."

Now, do you feel happy?

Now imagine that each day, you look for things that you enjoy, and you are thankful for them.

Your significant other comes into the house and smiles. Is that something to be thankful for? They ask you if you would like a cup of tea. Is that something to be thankful for? You see them put something away, without being asked. Is that something to be thankful for?

Now imagine depositing these memories in your emotional bank account, day after day. And compound them with as many other thankful, grateful thoughts as you can so they grow and grow. "It's lovely when he brings me tea; he's so considerate sometimes." "I'm so glad we like doing things together." "We just have so much in common; she is so much fun to be with"

How do you feel now?

Happy or sad, good or bad, pleasure or pain - authentic happiness is up to you. Focus on what you enjoy. Enjoy being thankful. It's something anyone can do, even you.

What you focus your attention on will grow. You do have an emotional bank account so start saving your happiness up today. With a bank-full of thankful, you'll be a master at the art of "having happiness now."

The life you choose begins here:

Get your FREE 5-part email eCourse and discover how personal self improvement can lead to finding happiness.

Co Author: Neill Gibson

We are Beth Banning and Neill Gibson, founders of Focused Attention. Our mission is to bring you very effective self help and personal development tools, and the skills to use them well. Our passion is to help you build a strong foundation for deeply satisfying relationships in every area of your life.

Find out why over 80% of our clients agree: These courses are extremely effective for building your self acceptance, self esteem, and self confidence. Learn how you can reduce the stress of difficult conversations and problem situations, and accelerate your personal growth and ability to succeed at the same time.

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Happy Relationships

Did you know that apart from financial problems, heck even with financial problems, the biggest threat to a happy relationship is a negative person. Lets face it, if nothing is ever good or positive, sooner or later either the other partner or the relationship itself will not be good enough.

That person will find the negative in any situation, including the relationship. They will find the faults with you, no matter how small. Now if that information was used in a positive way to enhance or "fix" a relationship, great! But the negative person will use this information, focus on it continuously and bring it up constantly. Eventually, there is nothing good that can be seen about being in the relationship anymore.

The next step is action.

The person seeing only negative things about the relationship, will start acting in a way to protect themselves from the impending pain. This is a genuine concern, as it is a very real feeling. One action will lead to another, until there is no more feeling of passion and contentment left. There is a feeling of apprehension and gloom. Nobody wants to live under those circumstances, and so the relationship declines until one or the other partner says 'enough, I'm outta here' End of relationship.

I knew a woman for several years once, who was never happy in any situation, was negative about people, her surroundings and always expected that future events would be the ones to make her happy. Whilst I was trying to be friends with her, because I enjoyed her company at different times, her increasingly negative attitude eventually made me want to avoid being around her. She would say, "I would be happy if I was married," then when she got married she was negative about her husband. She didn't like where she lived either, but when she moved, she was still unhappy. She was always looking for happiness outside of herself. In other people, other situations, other surroundings. She didn't understand that true happiness conmes from within, not from outside influences.

Some of the happiest people I have seen were poor and ragged street children in Africa. They did not even have a home to go to, or knew where their next meal would come from. Yet they lived harmoniously, in happy relationships with their family and others. Money and surroundings did not affect their happiness. As long as they were alive, they were happy.

As long as your relationship is alive, be happy, and it will stay alive.

Negative people are unhappy people and others do not want to be around someone who always brings them down. Often unforgiveness and holding on to the past is the reason that people suffer with being negative. Holding on to the past, we remain stuck and never experience the joy of growth and success that is here in the present. All that old excess baggage does not allow us to move forward into new and exciting situations.

If someone is having relationship problems, in keeping friends, with their spouses, at home with the family, or at work, then maybe being honest and giving some helpful encouraging tips could help. As you read this article, maybe you realize that you are this negative, unhappy person!


I will list some practical tips at the end of the article. But first you need to understand that not being negative is being positive. Choose to be an optimist not a pessimist. See the glass as half full not half empty!


We sometimes find ourselves in seemingly impossible situations where we need to make choices. Make those choices with a positive optimistic outlook, and the chances of them becoming positive increase immediately. Your negativity literally attracts your negative circumstances. Remember it is not our situation that makes us happy in life, but the attitude we display towards them. And your attitude is under your control. The decisions you make determine your future success or failure, in life and in relationships. To attract a better happier relationship, you need to be a positive happy person. It all starts with you at some level.


Something practical you can do right now.


1. Realize that Right Feelings Follow Right Thoughts! Think positive happy thoughts.

2. Understand that Happiness is a decision, your decision!

3. Change what you can to move into a more positive direction NOW!

4. Trust the Universe about what you cannot change!


5. Always find the positive in a situation, no matter how small, instead of the negative.

6. Only make positive comments, keep the negative ones to yourself!


7. Leave the past behind, live for the now.

Keep on loving.

About Author

Who is Udo Vieth? He is fast becoming an expert on love, relationship, romance, as well as being a qualified EFT and Biofeedback practitioner. He has a website: http:// www.Toprelationships.com with information regarding all aspects of relationships.


Source: ArticleTrader.com

Living Your Life And Loving It! – 3 Enabling Steps to Happiness

All of us, I am sure, wish for a life of abundance, health and wealth, relationships and what have you. There are those who are born with a silver spoon and blessed with good fortune throughout their lives. Luck seems to go with them wherever they go, well at least most of the times. Others are not so lucky and have to put up with challenges after challenges in their embattled lives and problems keep cropping up from time to time. To them, life is nothing but suffering.

To quote the revered and his holiness, the Dalai Lama, “Life is suffering. Our purpose in life is to seek happiness”.

What if there is a choice that we can make to turn things around? What if the unpleasant events and circumstances that we faced in the drudgery of living can be mitigated, lessened or dissolved with efforts on our part? Is hardship and adversity seems insurmountable? Can destiny be altered in our favor?

Yes!

The answer to all the above may shock you but just think for a minute – Why is it that God made us the way we are? Each of us is unique and yet we are all the same – nobody’s perfect! Do we wait for divine intervention or some miracles to happen before we hope to see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?

Not if we can help it!

At birth, we are given a set of pillars to be our foundation and it is up to us to build upon them. Our destiny code is ingrained in these pillars but the power to steer the hands of destiny is within our control albeit measured.

Herein unfolds the 3 steps to strengthen our pillars.

Get Empowered!

We empower ourselves by knowing our

- strengths and weaknesses
- affinity and detachment
- characteristics and eccentricities

Our pillars of destiny contain the hidden factors that govern our success in life and how the above are played out depends on how we make use of these factors:-

- Self
- Output
- Wealth
- Influence
- Resource

All the above factors are interdependent on one another and how we use them holistically is the key to maneuvering destiny in our favor. This is the concept of the Chinese metaphysical science of Astrology known as the Four Pillars of Destiny.

Energized Yourself!

We are all affected by our living environment. The place we live, the location our house is sited, the landscape in our vicinity and the internal space within our home are channels where energy or life force known as “Qi” flow. This energy gives life to all living things and is dispersed by the wind and gathers at the boundary of water. The Chinese called it “Feng Shui” which simply means wind and water.

This energy wax and wane through time and is inclined towards certain compass direction and location. If properly tapped, it gives prosperity and harmony to the inhabitants of a property in terms of health, wealth and relationships. The secret is in identifying, locating, containing and tapping into this energy using the Chinese compass known as the “Luo Pan”.

Be Proactive!

"Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action."

This is the quote by the British Statesman and literary figure, Benjamin Disraeli.
How true! Everything that happened to us is a result of the actions taken by us or by others. If we want something in life, we have to take action, without it nothing happen. We can sit around and bemoan the sad state of affairs we are in or we can be proactive and start making positive changes to our lives. The choice is ours to take.

If destiny hands us a raw deal, we can make lemonade out of a lemon!!!

About Author

Alvin Yap is the founder and owner of the website www.proactive-qi.com which offers free horoscope readings based on the Chinese Astrology known as the Four Pillars of Destiny and free consultation on the Chinese Metaphysical Science of Feng Shui. Visit us for free download of E-Books, tips, articles etc. Get Empowered, Get Energized and Get a Life!



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4 Simple Steps To The Good Life

If you want to create the good life -- a life filled with more achievement, prosperity and happiness than you could now imagine -- all you really need to do is faithfully follow four simple steps. Really.
By following these four incredibly powerful steps, you'll be able to create and attract whatever the "good life" means to you, be it optimum health, vast wealth or greater overall happiness.

Are you ready?

1. Define and Clarify Your Vision
Step one is simply to write down everything you would really love to have in your ideal "good life". Yes, write it all down and let your imagination flow. Ask yourself: "If I had all the time, money and resources and I could be or have anything at all in life, what would bring me the most happiness?
Think on paper. Develop a vivid and detailed description of what the good life would look like for you and put it down in writing.
Put a date at the very top of the page that's 2 or 3 years out in the future, but otherwise write out your good life description in the present tense, first person. Presume that it is guaranteed to happen but only if you could be crystal clear about exactly what you want and what the good life would look like for you.
Clarity is essential. You can't hit a fuzzy target or one you can't see.


2. Visualize and Feel It as Real
Here's step two. In your mind, project forward 2 or 3 years and create a clear mental image of what the good life looks like for you. Imagine the kind of life that would be ideal for you in every way. Visualize the end-result (and only the end-result) in your mind's eye. Get a clear mental picture of it.

Here's the key: As you visualize, enjoy the feelings you would have if you were already living and experiencing the good life right now. How would it feel? Feel your intention as if it's already been achieved.
As you visualize your ideal end-result you should literally be smiling as you relish the intense happiness generated by this 'virtual experience'. It should feel like you are radiating bliss from every cell of your being each time you close your eyes and visualize.
Spend five to ten minutes of quiet time every day visualizing your good life and feeling the happiness associated with it. First thing in the morning and last thing at night is ideal. Consistency and repetition gives this process amazing creative power.


3. Ask "HOW?"
Once you have a crystal clear vision of what the good life looks and feels like, continually ask yourself, in an open- minded state of wonder: "OK, now how can I achieve this?"
Think of this as an open-ended question to the universe.

Do not dwell on or worry about the fact that you don't know all the answers to this question. That's absolutely OK.
In fact, it's not your job to know all (or even any of) the "how's" at this point. It's much more important for you to clearly define your target. That is, to clearly define and describe the good life in your mind's eye in every detail and continually immerse yourself in the happiness it generates for you.
So just keep asking yourself "how" and be open to whatever insights and intuitive nudges you receive. Doing this will allow you to tap into your unlimited creative resources. The more you do this, the more insights, ideas and inspiration you will get to move you forward toward the good life you've envisioned.

4. Follow Through With Inspired Action
This is the action step. Trust and allow yourself to be guided by the insights, ideas and inspirations you receive. Resist the ego-driven urge to force things to happen. Instead, begin taking 'inspired action' to make your vision of the good life a reality.
What this means is you should do whatever you feel nudged internally to do -- and do it immediately.
So there you have it. You have learned in a few short paragraphs an awesome creative process that will literally magnetize you to whatever vision of the good life you've clearly defined. You'll be drawn to it and it will be drawn to you.
If you follow these four steps, you will literally begin to attract into your life the ideas, plans, contacts, resources and opportunities (many of them unforeseeable at the outset) you need to manifest your vision of the good life into reality.
And don't be fooled by the apparent simplicity of this process. The truth is always simple. It's our ego that loves to needlessly complicate things.
There's one caveat, however. Clearly defining your vision of the good life may take some time. That's perfectly natural. You need to figure out what the good life really means to you -- what it would entail, and what it would look, feel and taste like. So do take the time you need to get it perfect in every sensory detail.

Your vision of the good life has to be a 'perfect 10.' Once you've got that down, though, I challenge you to do steps 2 to 4 of the process daily for 30 consecutive days, without fail.
Then be sure to let me know the amazing things that happen next :-)

About Author

Dimitri Mastrocola is the founder of SuccessCounsel.com, your source for the most effective self improvement information available online. Download his free report "16 Secrets to Creating A Super Successful Life" at: http://www.SuccessCounsel.com



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Increase Happiness Through Your Own Abilities

"Anything you're good at contributes to happiness." Bertrand Russell. This article provides some of my thoughts and reflections on Russell’s quote and offers you tips to use in your own life. The theme of this article is about enhancing happiness through using your skills and talents.

What you are good at

This quote is self-explanatory. Quite simply, all those things you do well in will increase your happiness. It’s not just about your practical skills and abilities either. It is about your personality also. You may be a good listener, logical thinker, calm under pressure, honest…the list goes on. All these make up the things you are good at.

Using your talents

I’m sure you are familiar with the feeling of doing a job that does not allow you to use your talents. You feel frustrated and bored. You may become resentful of your boss and are unhappy at home as you feel you are wasting your day and even worse, your life. Do not take ‘talents’ to mean a special gift that is available to the chosen few. We all have talents. You may have a talent for speaking on the phone, yet you’re stuck filing all day. Or you may have a talent for filing, yet are stuck on the phone all day.

By the way, you do not have to be good at everything. It’s great to learn and develop new skills, yet sometimes it’s nice to accept a particular part of who you are and feel at ease with that. I, for example have learned that I am particularly terrible at ten-pin bowling. I realised after an agonizing evening that I had two choices, knowing I never wanted to repeat the experience -- either get good at it, or never play it again. I chose ‘never play it again’.

Be yourself

Another thing we are all good at is being ourselves. After all, how can we fail at that? Where we do struggle is when we try to be someone that just isn’t the genuine us, since we believe that is how we should be. An introvert will be unhappy going to parties night after night, but do it as they feel they will be seen as unfriendly. Whereas an extravert may struggle spending evenings alone reading a book, but feel they should enjoy this as they believe they should not need other people to entertain them.

The happiness of others

As well as our own happiness, I would say that what we are good at also contributes to the happiness of others -- people we know and the world at large. People love to share the things they enjoy doing and the internet has made this even easier. Also, by doing the things we are good at and feeling good about ourselves we will not be stressed and unhappy. As such we will be a pleasure to be around.

Tips

Have a look at the following tips to help increase happiness:

Take the time to list all those things you are good at. Think about your hobbies, your work, your relationships as well as your personality. All the good things that make up you are your talents. Try to use them everyday. If you keep a journal you could also reflect on how these talents contribute to the happiness of yourself and other people.

Think about how you could share your talents and knowledge with other people. Write a book, create a website, carry out volunteer work, display your work at a craft fair, talk to people.

Stop struggling to try and be someone that you are not.

Enjoy the here and now. Forget what you are striving at for a while and relish what you have. For example, you may be learning to play the guitar and know what your goals are. This is great. However, remember to enjoy yourself along the way and appreciate the moment.

Finally, see this as an excuse to keep learning new things, as you may find a talent you know nothing about. There’s so much out there to try. It also means you will be learning from others -- people who will have shared the things they are good at to increase your happiness.

Copyright Julia Barnard 2007

Julia Barnard is a professional counsellor living in Adelaide, Australia. She provides an online counselling service through her website http://www.makethechange.com.au Julia also writes articles for the website aimed at enhancing well-being and promoting good mental health. She has developed Happy Mails as a means of encouraging people to increase their own happiness.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Julia_Barnard

How To Be Happy

Happiness is a state of mind, so your state of mind at this moment makes all the difference.

You need to ask yourself, is it what you want, the thing that is going to make you happy?

If the answer is yes, does this mean that what you have must not be good enough?

We go through life searching, searching for a better job, better house, better car, better relationship, sometimes for many people this is a full time “occupation, always searching!

It seems to be a vicious circle for many of us, because the last job was the better one, now it is not, somehow it’s lost its appeal, just as when you bought your car, it was going to make you happy but that was only for a short time, you soon became unhappy once you saw another newer model, so the car that was your dream car is no longer a dream.

Where does it end?

Well the answer is simple, it ends exactly where it starts, in your Mind.

Look back at what you have had or what you did in your life that really made you happy, was it something that was a passing fad or was it more to do with being with certain people, going to a special place, listening to music, being on your own?

Whatever it was, can you have it again? Can you reproduce that feeling?

The answer to your past and future happiness belongs to you, only you can make you happy because only you control your thoughts, other people may have an impact but remember your thoughts are you, so think happy and be happy.

About Author

Garry Munro has the Minds Alike web site at www.mindsalike.comauwhere you can find more articles on success, happiness and self development.

Source: ArticleTrader.com

How to Make Your Own Happiness

Happiness comes to a person when it is caused by something, such as the person achieving a much-desired goal. Happiness also comes when the person recognizes something of value - seeing children playing together joyfully makes the parent happy. Happiness can be caused by expectation of future good fortune as the happiness of a couple in a romantic relationhship. Happiness has causes. It can be had by anyone who is able to bring about and recognize a suitable cause. Below are 6 ways to bring a little more happiness into your life.


Be aware of resources that can be used to achieve your goals -

Everyone has a large number of valuable skills that are not often appreciated: the ability to communicate and interact with people, the ability to set priorities when scheduling tasks, and many other such abilities. Your abilities are valuable. They can help you get what you want. So give them the consideration they deserve. Be proud of all of your abilities and skills. Take some delight in using them and they will stay with you and likely develop further.


Feel good when you succeed -

Savor the successes that your abilities and your resources allow you to achieve. The more you enjoy your successes, the more you will strive for and achieve success. It's a self-perpetuating circle that brings rewards and happiness.


Ask for what you want -

It's a way to make your life better. If it doesn't take away from someone else's happiness, then there's no reason to not ask. It is a tool you should feel good about using because it can produce good results. For example, you can ask someone to baby sit your kids while you get an r 'n' r break. You can ask advice on how to do something. You can ask at a university or state employment center for help in choosing a career.


Be willing to take chances to get what you want -

Yeah, sometimes you will fail. Sometimes you will suffer consequences. Just make a logical judgment about whether the possible benefits are worth the risks. If you decide it's worth it, then go for it. If you fail, so what. If you fail many times, so what. You still might succeed the next time, or the time after that. As long as the possible benefits are worth the cost, keep trying. And feel good about it.


Be alert to what is good in your life -

Try to adopt a mode of operation of giving attention to the good things. If you aren't aware of what you got going for you, then you are missing out on feeling good about those good things. Being happy requires at least some recognition of what makes life valuable and worthwhile. The more you are aware of the good things in life, the more joy and pleasure you will feel. And to help stay alert generally, do what you can to stay healthy, exercise often, and strive for variety and new experiences.


Go about making your life better -

Take an interest in self-improvement. Be concerned with ways to make your life better. That will allow you to see opportunities to make it better. Some of those opportunities won't work out. The ones that do, make your efforts well worth it.

About Author

Alan Detwiler is the author of several books on ways to have fun. The books are available at www.Amazon.com
His web sites are www.leisureideas.com and www.makegizmos.com

Source: ArticleTrader.com

Finding Happiness in Your Treasure Chest

If you haven’t been able to find a lot of happiness in your life, maybe you’re looking in the wrong place. Our level of happiness is based on our thoughts and our thoughts are a reflection of what’s in our minds. We can begin the quest for happiness by separating our memories into three separate chests.

The Treasure Chest of the mind is where we put our most cherished memories. We open this chest when looking for happiness, comfort and contentment.

The Hope Chest of our mind is for our goals and dreams of tomorrow. As each is fulfilled it is then moved to our Treasure Chest.

The Dumpster Chest of the mind is for letting go of the hurts and trash of yesterday. Once in this chest they are dumped, to be forever let go. Once these memories are put in the Dumpster Chest you should never go digging them out.

Our thoughts are a reflection on who we are. Happy people have happy thoughts. That doesn’t mean that the happy person never has an unhappy thought, it means the happy person knows how to move these unhappy thoughts into the Dumpster Chest and then forget about them.

If someone speaks of you and is not pleasant or someone acts and is not nice to you, it is not a reflection of you but a reflection of them. Do you think they are happy? What is in their Treasure Chest or Hope Chest that should have been put in their Dumpster Chest? How sad for them, but don’t let it affect you.

If you want to be happy, take the time to sit and think about your thoughts. Put the good ones in your Treasure Chest or Hope Chest and the bad ones in your Dumpster Chest. Focus only on your Treasure Chest and Hope Chest for they are now full of the jewels of hope and joy.

Happy people spend their effort adding to their Treasure and Hope chests while unhappy people spend their time sorting through the dumpster. If you are serious about finding happiness, leave the trash behind and become a treasure hunter.

About Author

Gary Mosher is co-author of the award-winning ‘Buddha in the Boardroom’, the business book that shows you how to excel in today’s chaotic and stressful workplace environment, available from Bodhi Tree Publishing, LLC at http://www.bodhitreepublishing.com
Visit Gary’s blog at http://www.buddhaintheboardroom.blogspot.com


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Happiness Is About Freedom, Are You Free

The Dalai Lama, in his book The Art of Happiness, says that the very purpose of life is happiness, and I am sure you agree with that.

And what is happiness?
Happiness is about freedom and it begins in the mind.

In order to be happy you need to be yourself, live by your values, be true to yourself and choose how you want to live; you need to know what you want, what makes you happy, so that you can create the life you want; you need to feel good about yourself and about in general.

In order to be yourself, feel good, and live the life you want, you need to be free from the prison of the past and its old beliefs, from the prison of pressure from other people and their beliefs, and from the prison of your own mind.

The past: maybe you have experienced a difficult past, and perhaps there are beliefs linked to that past, things people said that prevented you from feeling good and feeling free to live the life you want; but you need to arrive at a point where you can say, 'I have experienced this and that, so what?' Are you going to free yourself from the past when you are maybe 80 years old? Wouldn't it be nicer to actually live happily NOW? And how about choosing your beliefs?

Other people: over the years I have worked with various clients who had lost themselves along the way and felt a terrible hole inside; they had become a clone of someone else, in order to be 'cool' and fit in, but they had lost the most precious thing that any of us has: themselves and their soul.

So, be yourself, be authentic, and choose who you are, your values, your own rules and terms, your beliefs; find out what you like, what you want, the people you want in your life, what you like doing, how you want your life to be, and go for it; free yourself from the fear of being alone. Is it more important to be accepted by people who maybe have nothing in common with you and betray yourself, or be true to your soul?

And just know:
" It is very much OK to be who you are, and you are a wonder.
" Do not sell your soul; it is the most important asset you have got.
" Live a life you are proud of, and be a person you are proud of.
And how other people are, the way they behave and think, is simply what they choose. Always look at things with a critical eye and think with your own head; it is magnificent!

The prison of your own mind: by believing things told to you over the years, by having the same thoughts over and over, you can build a prison for yourself: a prison of fears, doubts, depression, anxiety, stress, frustration, anger, guilt, blame, shame, hatred. But you can change it with a simple shift in your awareness.

Your thoughts create your emotions, so in order to change the way you feel you need to change your neurology and have flexibility of thought.
If you try to 'solve' a problem in one way and it does not work, try another way. If you do the same, the results will be the same.

And if you do something that makes you feel bad, stop doing it; do something else.
Always look for new ways to look at things and problems, new ways of thinking; be a critic of everything; choose your thoughts, your beliefs, carefully. Do not tolerate any more negative feelings; choose to feel good; choose your freedom.

And use the extraordinary power of your unconscious mind, your mighty mind; use what works and let go of what does not; look at things with humour, laugh a lot and relax.

This is a wonderful world, you are an extraordinary person and your life can be truly phenomenal.

It is pure magic. Live it!

© Copyright Piercarla Garusi 2006- All rights reserved.

About the Author

Piercarla Garusi is a Life Coach, NLP Master Practitioner, Hypnotic Practitioner, Director of PG Coaching Ltd. She is passionate about helping you be well and create a life that makes you truly happy. Please visit: http://www.pgcoaching.co.uk, info@pgcoaching.co.uk.

Article Source: OnlineEarnings Article Board

Happiness Is A State Of Mind

Happiness is not some potion or spell. It is a belief system that we all have in us. Some people are just more aware that it is there.

As I walk down the street, I notice a woman walking by me, with a frown on her face. Her face looks aged to me. The frown makes her face look wrinkly and old.

I make it to my destination, the coffee shop. The owner is a happy guy that always greets me with a "Hi Chris, How have you been". He always has a big smile on his face and people love talking to him because he`s always cheery.

What type of person are you? Are you a happy soul or a miserable one. If you were to show up at a gathering of friends , would they all welcome you with a big smile and be happy to see you. Or would they be like "oh great so and so is here". How you carry yourself shows in people around you. Your attitide can directly affect those closest to you.

How is happiness attained? First and foremost, you have to love yourself for who you are. Not everyone can have movie star good looks and abs of steel. That really isn`t important. What is important is who you are on the inside. It is important for you to be positive about yourself, in order to feel happy.

It is a proven fact that people that are happy and use have a positive outlook on a daily basis are healthier than those with a negative attitude. A positive attitude can also help you heal faster. A negative outlook on life will cause you to be unhappy. Your unhappiness will cause stress and stress can wreak havoc on your health.

Another important factor to being happy is having friendships. Friends to spend time with and confide in will help relieve stress and make you feel needed. By playing sports, learning new hobbies or joining clubs, you will be able to make friendships. Friends are like having a support system set in place.

Having hobbies and interests are very important to being happy. Like the saying goes " all work and no play makes jack a dull boy". It`s important to have interests in life. They keep us motivated and happy. Just sitting in front of the tv all day will have the opposite effect. People need to have a hobbies to feel busy and motivated.

Relationships with family and loved ones is also a factor of happiness. If you are fighting with your spouse on a daily basis, that creates a lot of stress. If you truly want to be a happy person inside and out, you will need to nurture these relationships.

By simply reciting positive sayings and affirmations to yourself on a daily basis, you will start to feel better and have a brighter outlook on life. It works on you sublimally, slowly altering how you view yourself and life around you. In time you will build a positive outlook on life and achieve happiness.

About the Author

Chris Peterson
http://www.articlesup.com offers you self help and motivation articles to help you gain happiness in life.

Article Source: OnlineEarnings Article Board

True Happiness - Where And How To Find It

Sometime when things seem to be going wrong, you wonder how to find true happiness. People around you seem to be happy despite their daily stressful life. How do they do it?

If you look for the secret outside, it will be difficult to find true happiness as you will be dependent on external factors. It needs to come from within yourself.

When you think about it, sometimes you find that it is dissatisfaction with your own self that causes the unhappiness. Logically speaking, you may not have done anything wrong and the external world has no issues with you. But deep inside, you are unhappy.

So, the first thing is to be able to accept yourself as you are at that moment in time. You are not perfect, just as everyone else. Accepting that first is important. Once you do that, then your pursuit of happiness is a little easier. Put this behind you and look for ways and means of how to improve yourself.

For true happiness, you also need to be contented with what you already have. Finding happiness will not be so difficult if you can learn how to be happy with your current job, your family, your friends, your home and all the other things that you have.

Being contented does not mean not to strive for better things. If you are angry and unhappy with yourself, it is difficult to work on achieving newer and better things. For now be happy with what you have, while you plan and work for better things in life. The calmness that you feel will help in your efforts for betterment.

Some people are so angry with the world, with their bosses, with their parents. Anger with anyone does not hurt anyone except yourself. So, stop complaining about all these and just take some simple action. This will slowly build up to bigger and better things.

Are you going to succeed all the time? It is unrealistic to expect that. How you respond to failing or losing in some instances is what is important. You will certainly feel disappointed and unhappy. Important thing is to pick yourself up, learn from the experience and get on with life. You will be able to look back at some point in the future and talk about how you responded and learnt from tough situations.

Sometimes you think how happy you will be if you could have an exotic holiday, own a beautiful home, get a bigger pay or some other dream that you have. You will be happy for a short while, but after that it becomes part of the normal for you. Then, what after that. How now to find true happiness?

If you really think about it, the pursuit of happiness cannot be for singular events. It needs to be related to whatever you do daily or however you feel for the day. Have you thought about how good health feels? People appreciate good health only when they get sick. When you face problems, your ability to stand up and face should give you a warm glow inside knowing that you have the strength to face adversity.

Acceptance of self is the first step. The next step is to be able to accept others as they are. It is really upsetting when others do not pull their own weight and are cause of some of the problems you face. It is fine to be upset and angry if it will help the situation, but it does not. It will make the others more defensive and instead of helping the situation, it becomes worst.

For true happiness, accept yourself as you are. Accept others as they are. Then, work on evaluating the situation, plan your actions and act on your plan. To that add one other little tip. In the words of Rabindranath Tagore, "The burden of the self is lightened with I laugh at myself".

About the Author

Regina Maniam shares her thoughts on true happiness. You can find more useful information and access a FREE copy of the Life Evaluator Assessment at http://www.lifecoachingsecret.com.

Article Source: OnlineEarnings Article Board

Be Happy: If Happiness is the Goal, How Do I Get There?

Be Happy: If Happiness is the Goal, How Do I Get There?
By Melani Ward

"The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions." Alfred Lord Tennyson

Happiness seems to be the ultimate goal and if you aren't happy now, you would probably say that you are pursuing happiness so that you could be so in the future.

I work with many clients who are looking for a better relationship or would like to find a more fulfilling career and when I ask them what they really want, 9 times out of 10 they say they want to be happy. The problem is that when I ask people when was the last time they felt really happy, they either can't remember or they recall a time when they were kids and their biggest concern was an algebra test or at whose house they were going to sleep over.

When I think about adults and this relentless pursuit of happiness, I picture hundreds of hamsters frantically running on their wheels getting absolutely nowhere but somehow thinking they are making progress.

While most people want to feel happiness, most have no idea what it would take to make them happy. Have you ever known people who no matter what they do, how much money they make, what new career they begin, or what new relationship they have, they are never able to find happiness? Then there are those who seem to have nothing by society's standards and are as happy as can be. The reason is quite simple. Happiness does not come from the acquisition of things or from titles or new relationships. Buying a new house, going on a vacation, or getting a new title at work is never going to make you happy unless there is something even more powerful going on inside you - inside your heart and your soul.

So, How do I Find Out What would Make me Happy?

1. Define happiness - See if you can verbalize in very concrete terms what would make you happy.

I ask clients to define happiness and my request is often followed by a long silence or a less than verbose statement such as "I just want feel good - you know I want to be happy". It is often very difficult for people to define what happiness is for them, what it would look like, and how they would know if they achieved it. It is no wonder that the pursuit never seems to end and happiness seems to elude so many people. If you don't know what it is, how can you go get it?

2. Be Real about Your Expectations

There are many people who look at other people and compare their lives to their own and then experience feelings of inadequacy, lack, and jealousy. Many people see other people and think everything seems to work out great for everyone else. They say things like "everything always works out for her?" or "why can't that happen to me?". That perspective is flawed and will lead to greater dissatisfaction every time.

Everyone has a story and it is the rare event that things are exactly as they seem. People spend a lot of time and energy trying to show the world their best side but most of us have no idea what they are going through in their lives. If you spend all of your time wishing your life was like someone else's or envying others for what seems like a life filled with happiness, you will likely be missing out out on the joys in your own life. No two situations are the same so stop comparing yourself to others and appreciate your own situation. All of the energy you free up can then be used in your own life.

3. Do Not Expect Others to Make You Happy

Happiness comes from within. It comes from feeling good about who you are and how you are able to relate to the world around you. It comes from living your passion and surrounding yourself with good people. It comes from having a deep respect for yourself and for what you have to offer to all of those with whom you come in contact. It comes from being grateful for everything you have and from appreciating your place in this world. It does not come from other people. There may be people in your life that contribute to your happiness but if you were not happy before, they cannot make you happy. Only you can make yourself happy. Do not look to someone else as your source for happiness, look to yourself. If you are able to do that, you will be able to see happiness in an increasing number of places.

4. Act Happy - Fake it if you have to

If you aren't there yet, fake it. Act happy. Tell yourself you are happy. Live happily. The best way to be something is to practice it. I do not become a runner by wishing for it. I become a runner by running every day. Even when my legs feel like lead and my heart is racing, I am still running. It is easy to be happy when things go your way. That is because you are relying on the external for happiness. Remember happiness is a state of mind and you have the ability to control that. Practice being happy and get connected to those things inside of you that make you happy.

5. Stop Pursuing it and Just be Happy

There are plenty of reasons to be happy. Think of yours today and instead of waiting for happiness to come or to "happen" to you, start experiencing it now. Our lives may always be a work in progress and we may always strive to do, learn, and grow more, but there is no reason why we can't experience happiness at every step along the way.

To read more tips like the ones in this article go to http://www.mhcareercoaching.com or http://coachmelani.typepad.com If you would like to ask Melani a question, visit her blog at http://askmelani.blogspot.com Melani Ward is a successful career and life coach and entrepreneur. She coaches people on career discovery and development, resume and interviewing strategies, relationships and achieving work and life balance. She is the founder of Mountain High Career Coaching and Relationships on the Rise.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Melani_Ward

Happiness – Finding True Happiness Is Within All of Us

Happiness – Finding True Happiness Is Within All of Us
By Sacha Tarkovsky

You are not born to be happy just as you are not born to be sad.

Happiness is a choice for you to make, if you understand certain facts about yourself and life generally.

Here are some important facts in relation to happiness, if you understand and accept them you can be happy to.

1. Like Yourself

Many people simply don’t like themselves and feel that this prevents them achieving happiness because they are simply not worthy, and feel inadequate to deal with life and all that it has to offer.

However were all born with potential and were all born good.

However, if you feel you don’t have the art of appearing likeable (even though you are) work on it and learn basic social skills.

Keep in mind there is no reason for you to feel inadequate and like yourself – The first step to happiness is to like yourself.

Know your strengths know your weaknesses and work on the areas that need improvement.

2. Accept Life Is Not Perfect

Life is not all joy and fun, there is despair, feelings of loss and feelings of life is not fair.

Simply accept it’s the same for everyone, but you can make the bad better and remember there is always someone worse of than you, so be thankful to god for what you do have.

Leading on from this:

3. See the Good In All Situations

Even if you are involved in a bad situation, take the positive from it.

What have you learned from it has it made you stronger, wiser and more able to cope in future?

Many people simply change their lives after a bad situation they have encountered and re merge with a new strength and conviction, to change their lives for the better.

You can always find a positive to take from any situation, so make sure you do.

4. Accept People for What They Are

As far as possible try and see the good in people rather than the bad.

Don’t however surround yourself with negative people, if they are a bad influence on your happiness; remove them from your life.

Don’t let another person burden you with their problems, for to long if they can’t sort it out chances are you can’t to and advice them accordingly.

Under no circumstances use up energy in anger, or look for revenge on people who have hurt you, simply move on and learn from the experience.

5. Do What You Really Want To do

Many people are sad simply because they never do what they really want to do.

Now of course, we can’t always do or achieve what we want in life, but if it is within your grasp go for it.

Quite simply it’s better to have tried and failed than not to have tried at all.

Many people remain sad because they always “think what if”

Well, you won’t know the answer unless you try and the experience if you fail or succeed will enhance your life in some way.

6. Life Is What You Make It

It’s an old saying but is totally true. Life is not always good to us the same as it’s not always bad to us, but by accepting this fact and confronting life in a positive frame of mind, you really can make life a rich, fulfilling and happy experience.

MORE FREE INFO ON LEADING A HAPPIER LIFE

On all aspects of self improvement and happiness visit our website for a huge resource of articles, features and downloads and at http://www.net-planet.org/index.html

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sacha_Tarkovsky