The Pursuit of Happiness

The Pursuit of Happiness
By Karen Lynch

We all want to be happy. It seems to be one of the constants in the human condition; we all strive to be happy.

Many of us look outside of ourselves for happiness. We look for someone else to make us happy in that magical and elusive relationship. We look for our work to make us happy as we chase the dream of career success. Some of us are waiting to be happy, waiting until we lose weight, waiting for that promotion, waiting until our ship comes in.We spend our days in the relentless pursuit of happiness when we all have the keys now to being happy and we have always held the keys.

Happiness does not come from outside of ourselves. Happiness is an inside job. Just as Abe Lincoln said back those many years ago, most people really are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. But there are some tools that we can use to increase our happiness and help us to find it inside of ourselves where it has been all along.

The first tool is the emotion of Gratitude. Begin to realize and reflect upon the things that you have in your life to be grateful for. Every one has things to be grateful for. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing; sometimes the small things are the most rewarding. The clothes on your back, your senses that help you experience the world, the joy in a child’s laughter, the random act of kindness performed by a stranger, all of these things are things to be grateful for. Reflect upon these wonderful things that you have in your life and feel the Gratitude. Really feel it, feel that wonderful joy of gratitude and reflect upon how lucky you are to be you.

The second tool is the emotion of Love. All of us love somebody. Friends, family, significant others, even pets, we all love somebody. So remember that person that you love and find a way to love them more, love them stronger, and love them bigger. What can you do today to make their life easier, more fun, and more enjoyable? What can you do for them? Don’t ask what they can do to make you feel more loved or what they can do to make your life more enjoyable; that will not bring you lasting happiness. It may be wonderful and you may feel happy for a moment but that feeling will be fleeting compared to the happiness you feel when you open up your heart and do something just for them.

The third tool is the emotion of Awe. We live in an incredible Universe. There are a million things to feel Awe about. The absolute beauty of nature, the enormous advances we have made as a human race in the fields of medicine, technology and more. The fact that there is such abundance in the Universe that each and every one of us can be, do or have just about anything we want. The only true limitations are the limitations in our own minds. The freedom that can never be taken from us is the freedom of thought; nobody can determine what we think but ourselves. If we can think it, we can achieve it, we can dream it and we can enjoy those dreams, in our minds and in our lives.

So if you want to be happy, truly, truly happy, focus on these three emotions. Gratitude, Love and Awe, keep your mind on these and happiness will be yours.

Karen Lynch offers Life Advice at her inspiring website LivethePower.

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Happiness Depends On You

Happiness Depends On You
By Kathy Gates

If you’re stuck in the belief that happiness depends on what happens outside of yourself, you’re in for a very long wait. If you’re stuck in the belief that a happy relationship depends on “him/her” deciding to love you and be romantic and loving towards you, you’re in for a very long wait.

If you’re stuck in the belief that happiness falls out of the sky to those who are lucky, or beautiful, or weigh the right amount, or work at the right place, or drive the right car, or know the right people -- you’re in for a very long wait.

Happiness depends on you. Happiness depends on your willingness to replace your wishbone with a backbone. Happiness depends on you actively going after what you want, whether that’s love on Valentine’s Day, a body that looks great in a size 10, a Mercedes in the driveway - or all three.

And I know - accepting that your happiness depends on you can be scary. That means you have to stop blaming other people, things, circumstances, situations, and start working on taking charge, taking control, making your own desires come true. And that takes courage.

“I don’t’ have any courage”, Mary said. “What does courage mean to you?” I ask. “Firefighters, policemen, those people on American Idol”, she said. “Those kids over in Iraq; my mother living through the Depression; my sister who works with the homeless children. All those things are courage to me. I don’t do any of those things, I don’t have any courage.”

Yes, all those things take courage, but all of those things also have something else in common. Do you think any one of those things can be accomplished without feeling some fear? No. There cannot be courage without fear.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment or decision that something else is more important than the fear. Courage is what you do *in spite* of the fear - in spite of the fear of failure, in spite of the fear of resistance, in spite of the fear of rejection.

You can show courage every day. It takes courage to go against “that’s just the way it is.”; or “what can I do about it?”, or “I’ve always been this way”; or “They won’t let me...”.

Courage is deciding not to put your current desires above your desires for the future. Courage is deciding there’s something more important. Courage is living life to its fullest potential, being willing to “bloom in the pot you were put in”, as the old saying goes. Maybe you don’t have the genes of a movie star, maybe you are tired every single day because you’re a single parent, maybe you do feel every day is just another battle with the world.

Happiness - your own individual, personal, unique brand of happiness - depends on you deciding what you want and making a plan and sticking to it. None of those examples above fell out of the sky -- they came with specific decisions, specific choices. Choices just like you make every single day.

For me, courage always brings to mind the Bible story of David fighting Goliath. In order to get into the Promise Land, David had to fight his giant.

Don’t you image he had something else he would have rather done that day? Fighting a giant wasn’t likely at the top of his list. But he chose not to put his current desire over his true desire. He took his future into his own hands (with help of course!).

In order to get into your own personal promise land, you’ll have to have courage to stand up to your personal giants too.

Courage doesn’t mean that you don’t recognize the difficulty of the task. (Think about David and Goliath again.) Not at all. It does mean that you are willing to do it anyway, to push yourself out of the comfort zone, to give it your best try, and if you fail, to try again and again.

Courage is standing up to whatever mental-emotional-physical “Giant” is in your life.

Resolve to live in such a way that courage, not fear, directs your life. Resolve to determine your own worth, not let someone else decide it for you. Resolve to stop working hard to build someone else’s dreams.

Your happiness depends on it.

Kathy Gates is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Life Coach in Scottsdale AZ who specializes in finding happiness in daily life. If you liked this article, you’ll love her “7 S.E.C.R.E.T.S. to a Great Life” coaching program. She will coach you via email or telephone, your choice. Start Creating Your Happier Life Today! by visiting REAL LIFE COACH.com

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Happiness Comes Through the Right Attitude

Happiness Comes Through the Right Attitude
By Petra Kuhrmann

The quality of your life depends on how happy you are. Do you have that "happy go lucky" attitude? If not what attitude could make you happy?

The best human attitude I found is this:

"People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable.
Be honest and transparent anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People who really want help may attack you if you help them.
Help them anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt.
Give the world your best anyway."

- Mother Teresa -

Until you are able to have that attitude of Mother Theresa: Practice, practice, practice

- Smile once in a while, help others and make their life a little bit easier.

- Respect yourself, so others have an example how to treat you right.

- Respect other people for what and who they are, you can't change them anyway.

- Be open to new experiences, and keep on growing on the inside.

- Don't expect to get anything in return.

The true master of happiness has a sunshine in his/her heart, and brings sunshine into the life of other people. Keeps his head up high and looks into peoples eyes, to see if he/she can be of help somehow.

Petra Kuhrmann http://transformationsforlife.com

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Quest For Happiness

Quest For Happiness
By Alan Jackson

Are you searching for true happiness? You can find it, if you know where to look. Upon self examination you may find that happiness, according to what you think, may not be attainable. Often times, we as a society, think that having things, or buying things that we want, will bring us true happiness. While its true that these things do bring us a bit of happiness, it is seldom long lasting.

There are many things in life that can and does cloud the true meaning of happiness in ones life. Upon examination these things, which we think will bring us true happiness, often do not live up to the task of creating true happiness for us.

So it stands to reason that we need to change the way we look at our thoughts of attaining true happiness. Happiness is a emotion that is essential to everyones life, for a balanced life. The search for true happiness, for some may seem unattainable. But I assure you that all can reach it if they are willing to change their thought process.

It's okay to disagree with this statement, but I assure you that it is true. If one is not willing to dissect their thoughts, to find out why they believe the way that they do, then I assure you happiness most suredly, will evade that person.

Once a person understands why they think the way they do, the process of change can begin. It stands to reason that you cannot change, if you don't know where to begin. Once you understand that the way you think can and often does prevent you from attaining the happiness that you seek, you are then in a position to do something about it.

I believe that true happiness is created by the person that holds it. Yes I said created. You see once a person knows what doesn't create true and long lasting happiness, they can begin to search their soul to find what will.

Just as the misbelief of buying things for our happiness was created, so must true happiness must be created within oneself. If you think about what you may have had to go through to create a temporary sense of happiness, you may find the reason why it is temporary.

We all experience temporary happiness, to a degree. To find permanent true happiness, requires that we be very honest with ourselves. Honest soul searching will provide anyone the answer they seek.

Once you are able to rid your thought process of all the misconceptions that may be there, you can begin the search for what truly makes you happy.

Don't be surprised if you find, that true happiness doesn't cost a thing, and has been in your life all along. It is a simple thing, once you understand. When you find it, you will know, because you truly will be happy.

My mother taught us kids a song when we were little, maybe you have heard it. It goes like this, and I have no idea where it originated from. But here are the words.

We ain't got a barrel of money and we sure are ragged and funny, but we'll travel along, singing our song, side by side.

This song will forever be in my soul and I often reflect on it to remember that true happiness isn't what we want to buy for ourselves, but is reflecting on a moment in time, when true happiness was created and present in my life for all time.

I am not any kind of doctor, nor am I educated in any kind of field of psycology. I am just a normal person maybe just like you. I only wish to show you that true happiness is where you find it and once you know where to look, you will always be able to find it, or create it.

I truly wish you a wonderful life. Create happiness along the way.

Alan Jackson

My reflections of my happiness.

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7 Unique Ways To Make Someone Smile

7 Unique Ways To Make Someone Smile
By Roger Carr

Do you want to put a smile on someone's face? Maybe make their day a little bit brighter? It doesn't have to take much time or money on your part. In fact, many things can be done as a part of your normal routine and cost little or nothing. You won't know how many people are encouraged by your kindness because smiles are contagious. Try out one or more of these 7 ways today to put smiles on their faces.

1. Write an encouraging note to others that have encouraged you or that need encouragement. Handwritten notes that are given to encourage, not just for thanking someone for a gift, are rare. That makes handwritten notes even more special. Start a new practice of sitting down and writing an encouraging note on a regular basis. You just might start an epidemic!

2. Take a friend out to lunch or invite her to your home for a meal. You will get to know each other even better than you do right now. If you feel like being more adventurous, throw a party for several of your friends and put smiles on a multitude of faces.

3. Give someone an inspirational book to read. You will feel good doing it, reading the book will change the person, and they will think of you every time they read it.

4. Ask a friend or relative if you can take care of their kid(s) for a day or evening. If you have been a parent, you know the value of being able to have a few hours of "adult time" without worrying about the children. Don't wait to be asked to baby-sit when it is required. Offer to do it at a time when the parent can do something fun and relaxing.

5. Deliver a meal to someone you know that is sick or having a rough time. We have all been sick and know the last thing you want to do is be out of bed. There are also times when life is tough and it is hard to do all of the daily chores. You can be a tremendous help by providing a meal that can be enjoyed.

6. Volunteer time to supporting your local church or charity. Every minute you dedicate to a church or charity will cause many smiles. You will put a smile on the face of each leader just for helping without being asked. You will also be putting smiles on the faces of those that are being helped through the organization.

7. Thank everyone that supports you throughout the day. The list of those that you come in contact with is endless. Remember family and friends, secretaries, co-workers, teachers, Sunday school teachers, pastors, store employees, janitors, gas station attendants, those that deliver your mail and newspaper, and servers at restaurants.

I know this is a list of 7 ways to put a smile on someone's face, but there is one more way that can't be ignored. Reveal a genuine smile to everyone you meet. You will experience how easy it is to get others to smile!

Roger Carr is the founder of Everyday Giving. His life purpose is to help people help others. He lives with his wife and son in historic Fredericksburg, Virginia. Learn more ways to give, sign up for the free Everyday Giving ezine at http://www.everydaygiving.com/ezine.htm

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Top 10 Secrets for Being HAPPY!

Top 10 Secrets for Being HAPPY!
By Philip E. Humbert

One of my favorite songs is Bobby McFerrin’s refrain, "Don’t Worry, Be Happy". I recently had the opportunity to observe people’s reactions when a highway was closed because of an accident ahead. As we waited, I watched as some listened to radios, a few began tossing a Frisbee, other’s seemed to be working or reading, and some opted for a quick nap. But, there were also a handful who were clearly agitated and angry. Pacing about, swearing, and upset, they decided that the best response to this event, which none of us could control, was to be very unhappy. I was reminded of Abraham Lincoln’s comment that, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." The following are my Top 10 Tips to increase happiness in your life:

1. Decide to be a happy person. As Lincoln observed, most people, most of the time, can choose how stressed or happy, how troubled or relaxed they want to be. Choose to be happy.

2. Watch and Read less news. As a recovering news addict, I know this can be difficult because the stock market fluctuates, politicians politic, and sports teams compete. But, most of the time, you don’t need the stress. So, just don’t watch. I think it was Henry Thoreau who noted that if you’ve ever read about a train wreck, you understand the principle and don’t need to know any more about it.

3. Practice the Attitude of Gratitude. We all have so much to be grateful for. Just thanking the many people who assist us, encourage us, teach us and open doors for us could take all day!

4. Take Time. My dog has taught me much about loyalty, about noticing the sights, sounds, and smells in the yard, about being relaxed and about play. Eat when you’re hungry, nap when you need it. Get your ears scratched whenever possible!

5. Laugh everyday. Hear a joke, tell a joke, laugh at yourself, laugh with your friends and family and co-workers. There are very few medicines as powerful as laughter, and I don’t think you can over-dose, although it is addicting!

6. Love well. Express your affection, appreciation, friendship and warmth to those around you, and they will almost always respond in the most amazing ways! Be generous…it pays great dividends!

7. Work hard. This one comes as a bit of a surprise, but there is tremendous satisfaction in being competent, and joy in completing our assigned tasks. One of the great sources of happiness is to do work that is worthy of you, and to do it well.

8. Learn something new, everyday. To be happy, most of us must also be growing, expanding, learning and challenging ourselves. Read, listen, adapt and stretch to accommodate new ideas and new information.

9. Use your body as it was designed. Walk and run, stretch, throw things, and lift things. Dance! Exercise is good, but so is making love, mixing up a batch of cookies, or exchanging backrubs. You have a body and it can be either a source of joy, or a source of aches and pains. Your choice.

10: Avoid toxins. I prefer writing positives (things to do) rather than negatives (things to fear), but reality says there are negative people and there are bad chemicals, stressful noises, and unsafe places. Don’t go there! Avoid poisons whenever possible. It seems to work out better that way.

© Copyright 2003 by Philip E. Humbert. All Rights Reserved. This article may be copied and used in your own newsletter or on your website as long as you include the following information: "Written by Dr. Philip E. Humbert, writer, speaker and success coach. Dr. Humbert has over 300 free articles, tools and resources for your success, including a great newsletter! It's all on his website at: http://www.philiphumbert.com

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Happiness Is An Inside Job

Happiness Is An Inside Job
By Joe Love

Your happiness should be the number one goal in your life. Whether or not something makes you happy should be the primary organizing principle of everything you do. It should be the standard by which you measure every choice and decision.

Your ability to achieve your true happiness is the measure of how well you are really doing as a human being, and everything else should be subordinated to this key objective.

From Aristotle in 34 BC through the modern thinkers, speakers and writers of today, the key to happiness has been the same. It is the same for virtually all men and women, in all countries and situations and in all walks of life.

The key to happiness is this: dedicate yourself to the development of your natural talents and abilities by doing what you love to do, and doing it better and better, in the service of a cause that is greater than yourself.

This is a big statement and a big commitment. Being happy requires that you define your life in your own terms and then throw you whole heart into living your life to the fullest. In a way, happiness requires that you be perfectly selfish with yourself in the beginning so that you can be unselfish with others throughout your life.

Your happiness depends on your ability to please at least yourself at all times. You can only be happy when you are living your life in the very best way possible. No one can define happiness for you. Only you know what makes you happy. Just as you cannot make someone else happy, no one else can make you happy. Happiness is an inside job.

Many people fool themselves into thinking that they will give up their own personal happiness in order to make someone else happy, usually members of their family, but this way of thinking is completely confused.

You can’t reap what you haven’t sown. Just as you cannot make someone else healthy by being sick, you cannot make someone else happy by being unhappy. People who allow themselves to think that they are being unhappy so that others can be happy are deluding themselves. They are rationalizing their own dissatisfaction by somehow pretending that it is noble to be miserable.

The starting point for enjoying happiness is for you to first accept that you deserve all the happiness you can honestly attain through your own efforts and the application of your special talents and abilities.

There is a direct correlation between happiness and your level of self esteem. The more you like and respect yourself, the more deserving you will feel of the good things in life. The more deserving you feel, the more likely it will be that you will attain and hold on to the happiness you are working toward.

When happiness becomes the organizing principle in your life, you can then compare every possible action, choice and decision against the standard of happiness you desire to see whether it would make you more or less happy.

By using this standard, you will find that almost all of the problems in your life come from choices that you have made, or are currently making, that do not contribute to your happiness. When you develop sufficient character and will power to set your happiness as our highest standard, you will probably never make another mistake.

Of course, there are countless times when you will have to do little things that don’t make you happy so that you can enjoy larger things that make you very happy. This is called paying the price for success in advance.

You must pay your dues in advance. Sometimes these interim steps or means to success and happiness you desire don’t make you happy directly, but the happiness you achieve from attaining your goals is so great that it overwhelms and wipes away the temporary inconveniences and distractions you had to endure in order to get there.

Since you can’t be truly happy, until you are clear about your inherent possibilities, it’s very important that you take some time on a regular basis to analyze yourself and identify your strengths and weaknesses. There is an old saying that, “Success leaves tracks.” What this means is that you can often look back on your life, and look around you today, to identify who you really are and what you should be doing with your life.

Everyone has an area of excellence. Everyone has something that he or she can do in an outstanding way. It may take weeks, months and even years for you to develop yourself in an extraordinary fashion, but the indications will be there because of a natural tendency to be attracted to the sort of activity we are excellent in.

You probably know already what this area of excellence is because you like to read about it, talk about and think about it. You most likely admire people who are already outstanding in this area. That area of activity, the area where you can become excellent, is probably what you were put on this earth to do.

Your area of excellence, your area of talent and ability, your heart’s desire, will involve doing something that somehow uplifts and enhances the life or work of other people. You can never be really happy until you know that what you are doing is making a difference in the world. The key to happiness is to know in your heart that you are making a contribution to the lives of other people.

You have the capacity to live a life filled with greater joy, satisfaction and happiness than you have ever imagined. There are no limitations except the ones that you put on yourself by your own thinking. You were put on this earth with a special purpose, programmed with unique talents and abilities that have not yet been fully tapped and utilized.

Happiness is an inside job, it’s up to you. Know one else can make you happy if you can’t first please yourself. When you focus all your energies on becoming the very best person you can possibly be in service to others, you open the door to happiness.

Copyright©2007 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.

Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and success coaching programs. He is the founder and CEO of JLM & Associates, a consulting and training organization, specializing in career coach training. Through his seminars and lectures, Joe Love addresses thousands of men and women each year, including the executives and staffs of many businesses around the world, on the subjects of leadership, achievement, goals, strategic business planning, and marketing. Joe is the author of three books, Starting Your Own Business, Finding Your Purpose In Life, and The Guerrilla Marketing Workbook.

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5 Ways to Inner Peace

5 Ways to Inner Peace
By Uta Roggendorf

If I asked you if you wanted a million dollars or experience lasting inner peace, what would you choose? If you would go for inner peace, please read on. This article describes the top five ways that have helped me transform my life. To be honest, I do not feel inner peace all the time, but I have learned by following one or all of these five ways in any moment, how to pull myself out of discomfort, sadness, anger, unhappiness in seconds.

1) Trust your intuition

Trust that your inner guidance on any topic provides you with the perfect answer. There is a part of you that is connected to the bigger picture, the Universe, Source, God, whatever you prefer to call it. I refer to this as your Higher Self. And this Higher Self or gut instinct, sixth sense, intuition knows what is in your best interest at all times. Learn to trust this voice unconditionally and you will feel greater peace because you avoid instinctively situations that you would prefer not to experience.

To give an example, imagine you are about to book a holiday and you have an uneasy feeling about the location, accommodation, flight, date, or anything else related to the holiday. Do not ignore this feeling. It is your inner radar telling you that the holiday is not aligned with the best possible outcome for you. Listen carefully to which aspect you feel sensitive towards and change this, e.g. the date, destination, accommodation, etc. until all feels right.

Your intuition gives you guidance on any aspect of your life, whether it is related to relationships, money, work, health, hobbies, travel, etc. It always works for your own best interest. To learn to trust your intuition, make notes of situations when you do trust your intuition and the associated outcome. Equally make notes of situations when you chose not to follow your inner guidance and also note down the outcome. Over time you will soon become aware that following your intuition pays off.

Tip: Sometimes it is difficult to distinguish between your intuition and the voice in your head, your ego or conscious mind. Your intuition is the first feeling or thought that comes to you, before you have engaged your head and started to analyse a situation. Sometimes it only lasts for a flash of a second. If you are really not sure whether your intuition or head is guiding you, take the next step in the process and see how you feel then. For example, if you are looking into booking a holiday, do some more research on the holiday and imagine yourself there. If you still have an uneasy feeling or twitch, follow this guidance and change your plans. This is your intuition talking and it will warn you all along the way!

2) Be in charge of your emotions

Against popular belief, your emotions and feelings do not own you. You can decide and choose how you want to feel in any moment. Once you realise this, experiment with it, and continuously challenge yourself to feel more positive in any moment, your life will transform.

To feel peace, strive to improve your negative emotions in any moment. Do not try and change from feeling depressed to the happiest person alive. Take small steps from feeling low to feeling a little bit better, and then a little bit more. Consciously choose a happier thought that leads to a happier feeling. Be aware that this choice is in your power.

It is not easy to change negative feelings that you have carried with you for a long time. Start practicing with feelings that you can change more easily. Only you can determine what those situations and feelings are. To give you an example, for me personally driving is a challenge of staying in a peaceful state. I get very irritated by cars driving too close to me because I’ve had several accidents where others collided with my car. Now, whenever someone drives too close to me, I consciously use this as an opportunity to change my feeling from fear and anger, to a more peaceful feeling.

3) Be authentic

To be authentic means to follow who you are and what you prefer in any moment. You do not need to proof yourself to anyone – ever! You are not on this planet to climb to number 10 on the chart of most popular person, richest person, best looking person, or most intelligent person. You are here to experience life, to play with it, to have fun, and to express who you are - whatever that means to you personally.

We are bombarded by many external messages every day through the media and other people telling us who we should be. These messages give us the impression that without living up to these artificial ideals, we are less than others around us. Most of us subconsciously and consciously follow these messages to some extend and constantly struggle and strive to live up to these images. The pressure to be different from who we really are starts during early childhood. Our school system is designed to grade each of us and put us into boxes. I do not want to attack the school system. But just be aware of how much pressure we’re put under from an early age which tells us we’re not good enough. We are not given much freedom to be who we are, even if that means average or bad grades, not being top of class, not holding up with other children’s talents.

Being authentic means following your passion, being who you are, and choosing to be you in every moment. There is no need to be anyone else. You don not have to accumulate material possessions or force your body into an unnatural shape to ‘be someone’. You already are all that you are meant to be. And you are perfect in your own unique way. Once you understand this about yourself, you will automatically accept all those around you for who they are. You’ll notice how judging someone else will become much harder and less natural because you realise that everyone else has the same right to express themselves as who they are.

I am an introvert and don not easily smalltalk to strangers. I am certainly not the bubbly outgoing person that I often watched and envied from the distance. I remember a guy who broke up with me because ‘I never said anything’. And for a long time afterwards, I was extremely self conscious about my introvert nature. I thought something was wrong with me, some part of my personality had not been developed properly. This continued into my career, I used to shudder when I heard the words ‘let’s do some networking’. And then I realised that it’s ok, I am not weird. There are other qualities I have. I am a good listener and when I do speak, I’ve usually got something meaningful to say. The pressure that fell off me when I made it ok to be me was fantastic.

Free yourself from the belief and pressure that you have to change or be different. Instead, learn more about yourself. Find out what brings passion to your life. Experiment with who you are and once you start being authentic, you will soon gain more courage to continue on this path for the rest of your life.

4) Be in the moment

We spend a lot of time thinking about the past or the future. It seems a challenge to stay in this moment. However, there are so many remarkable benefits if you choose to be in the moment. Most of your worries about the future turn out to be unfounded. Those finding themselves clinging to the past, often focus on the negative. This serves no purpose as the past is the past. You cannot change it. By focusing on being here now, you’ will automatically irradiate the largest proportion of worry, anxiety, fear, sadness from your life.

Being in the moment, truly focusing on what is here now in front of you makes the world brighter and lighter. The colours become more intense. Suddenly things that you felt were important become small and insignificant. You being to value the time you spend with your loved ones or the time you spend on your hobbies and passion.

It can take some practice to be in the moment because we’re so used to thinking ahead or reminiscing about the past. The easiest technique I have come across is to focus on your breathing. Feel your lungs expand and contract with each breath. After 10 breaths or so you will feel a shift in your perception of your immediate surroundings. You can also focus on a soothing noise, e.g. the wind blowing, or gentle music. Anything that you can actively participate in through your senses brings you into the moment. Living in the moment will enrich your life because you are present right here, right now. You participate in your own life instead of watching it from a distance as if it’s a soap opera on TV.

I bring myself into the moment as a form of meditation and calmness. Or I use the technique if my mind runs riot with worry and I cannot stop the negative thoughts running round my head. I just ask myself if I’m ok in this moment, and 99% of times the answer is ‘yes’.

Tip: If your head keeps churning around thoughts and you cannot stop them, just acknowledge them and let them fly by. Do not try and force yourself to stop thinking, it’s impossible. Don’t feel bad if you don’t master the moment to start with. It can take practice and patience to get there.

5) Love yourself

This might sound cheesy to some of you but loving yourself is the most basic and most important step to finding inner peace. If you love yourself, you accept and respect yourself. Whatever other people say to you, or how they treat you, becomes unimportant because you no longer rely on anyone else’s judgement. You already are in tune with your truth and you recognise that you are perfect in the way you are. If you love yourself, you no longer rely on the love of other people to make you feel complete. Your relationships turn a new corner because you feel free from the pressure of having to be or do things in order to gain approval and love from someone else. Instead you can be free to be who you are with the other person. Magically, if you love yourself, you will find it much easier to love everyone and everything around you. If you have children, loving yourself will teach them one of the most important things in life which will give them a solid platform to develop themselves on – they will find it perfectly normal to love themselves because they are observing you doing the same.

Loving yourself may appear selfish or self centred. However, unless you love yourself first, how can you expect anyone else to love you? If you don’t think you’re worthy of love, why would anyone else think so?

Tip: Self love can be trained. All it takes is 5 – 10 minutes each day. I’ve learned this ‘mirror dialogue’ technique from Dr Barbara Rose:

Stand in front of a mirror and look yourself in the eyes. The eyes are the doors to the soul so this how you can communicate with your own being. Then think of three observable positive actions you have taken during the previous or the same day. Say these actions out loud and which quality in you they express. For example, if you held the door open for someone in a shop, your statement would be: Today I was being helpful when I held the door open for the person behind me in the shop. Maybe you showed up on time for a meeting. Then your statement would be: I was being responsible and reliable when I showed up in time for the meeting.

Chances are that the first times you do this you will feel very strange and everything inside of you will revolt against doing this. But stick to it. Do it anyway. It is a technique that will help you speed up loving yourself 100 fold and more. It is a proven technique that has helped me and many others. Stick to it for at least 6 months. Shortly after you start doing this, you will begin to feel much better about yourself.

None of these ways to inner peace are a secret. Many authors, coaches, even scientists have written tons of material about these topics; which goes to show that there’s something right about them! From my own experience I can share that it’s lifelong process to integrate these techniques and to make them part of who you are. But once you start, you’ll be fascinated by the quick and encouraging changes you’ll see in your life. And soon you’ll notice how much more peaceful you feel when situations that would have made your blood boil in the past, just make you smile at your progress.

Uta Roggendorf is a certified IHSC Certified Higher Self Life Transformation Coach and Teacher. Her work is to teach people how to be their authentic self and to find inner peace in every moment of their lives.

Visit her web site for more information: http://www.authenticawareness.co.uk

Choosing Happiness

Choosing Happiness
By Jan Scott

I like to think I'm a jolly, upbeat person, certainly I'm a happy one, but recently I've decided to really crank that up, to inject yet more happiness into my life. This has coincided with work I've been doing with a number of clients for whom regular feelings of happiness had become elusive. If that resonates for you, then read on for some ideas to make next year a much happier one! Resolve to be Happy 'Happiness', I'm sure you'll agree, is a really important component of life. It's something we all purport to strive towards and yet for many of us it is unattainable. Sure enough, we do (and arguably need to) experience other emotions too. We all have desperately sad times, times when we're bereft, times when we're bored, times when we're angry or frustrated.

Sometimes happiness is perceived as something that is engendered by our circumstances, but whilst what is happening around us can and does have a profound impact, bereavement for example can remove happiness from one's life, with good counselling and an underlying positive mental attitude, even those in the deepest slough of despond can, in time, raise themselves back and embrace happiness.

What we would all aspire to, I imagine, is that throughout life our dominant mood is 'happy'.

I believe that this 'dominant mood' happiness can be a choice, as simple as that. There is no magic wand. Yet, you can transform your life as if by magic, from mundanity and general negativity, at will, by making a choice and taking action.

Many however, choose a path which makes them sad and unhappy. Because it is the way they know (their 'comfort zone' you could say) they believe it is 'just the way I am', or maybe they denigrate the pursuit of happiness as 'trivial', 'pointless' or even 'selfish'.

Well, I'm having no truck with that - I'll choose a light heart over a heavy one any day and know that a positive approach to life and the desire for happiness has a profound impact on, not just me, but those around me also.

I've been asking clients of late, 'what is there, what is present, what's going on, when you're happy'. We start to compile a list. The only rule is that the list contains things the client can do themselves, i.e. things that are not dependent on someone else taking action.

Almost always this list is created as a result of considerable soul-searching, because extraordinarily we often seem to resist that which makes us happy in favour of that which leaves us negative and unmotivated. (For example, eating a whole packet of chocolate Hobnobs or Jammy Dodgers in the certain knowledge of feel ghastly afterwards.) Or perhaps things you do only occasionally or have to be talked into that ultimately make you happy. (For me that can be going swimming or taking a stroll in the countryside.)

I invite clients to make their list and to entitle it 'ingredients for happiness'. Then, I encourage them to acknowledge and accept that not to do these things is a choice they are regularly making which impacts on their happiness. The next step (and this is the good bit!) is that they choose to take action regularly and then inexorably start to feel happiness pervading their lives.

Here's a list of the type of thing that comes up, including some of my own ingredients for personal happiness (in italics):

1. Connect with other people. Getting up into the hills in the company of a group of friends, walking alongside each for an extended period, really catching up with their life; or having dinner with loved ones - sheer bliss. I love the banter - and the fact that my family and friends are all such good cooks.

2. Visit beautiful places. (Lying on soft grass, warm sun, dappled shade, beside a stream. The sound of my family and friends' laughter and conversation in my ears.)

3. Take time to keep a journal. (For me this also means finding just the right book - the aesthetic is important.)

4. Be around happy people, revelling in their joy. Choose who you hang out with - dump the grumps!

5. Find your passion; it may be gardening, painting, singing, stamp collecting, whatever, but once you've found it, just do it. The new-found motivation will impact on every area of your life. (This is one where you may have to be brave, read my story here.)

6. Simplify your life. If you've got a big mortgage, a fancy car, regular holidays abroad, that's your choice, but are you happy?

7. Watch nature take its course through the changing landscape throughout the year; delighting in the minutiae of this. (There is such joy in looking from my study window onto the woodland behind. Bluebells in amongst the vivid greens of Spring and now, bare trees revealing hills beyond. Close to, I can see the tops of snowdrops pushing through the soil.)

8. Make others happy, a sure-fire way to personal happiness. Helping someone just for the pleasure of it. (Remember that old saying 'what goes around comes around' - i.e. do good things, not for what the recipient can do for you. You will be repaid, but perhaps from elsewhere.)

   and finally

9. Be enthusiastic about whatever you're doing, pushing aside thoughts of what you could be doing instead. (A real trial for a grasshopper-brain like me).

10. Gratitude is a major component of happiness. You don't have to be a religious person to give thanks. Being grateful is part of really living in the moment and heightening your awareness. Just stop briefly to acknowledge your happiness and to say a little thank you, to your creator perhaps or simply to yourself for having chosen the happiness path.

What are your 'ingredients for happiness'? What action do you have to take to make a profound change in your life?

Once we acknowledge and accept that happiness is largely a choice we can then reflect on the fact that even though we know what behaviour makes us happy, we sometimes choose not to do it. Mad, isn't it? In fact, it's simply a bad habit we've got into, and habits can be changed through making new choices.

Remember, happy people take action. Taking action is the ONLY way to make change happen in our lives.

Jan Scott - facilitating personal change
http://www.thelifecoachforyou.co.uk

... the most significant event in my life for many years. You have delivered everything I hoped for when I first read your website. RR, Oxon