HAPPY 4EVER: 2007

Monday, May 21, 2007

Your Mental Attitude is the key!

As a being of thought, your dominant mental attitude will determine your condition in life. It will also be the gauge of your knowledge and the measures of your attainment. The so-called limitations of your nature are the boundary lines of your thoughts; they are self-erected fences, and can be drawn to a narrower circle, extended to a wider, or be allowed to remain. You are the thinker of your thoughts and as such you are the maker of yourself and condition. Thought is causal and creative, and appears in your character and life in the form of results. There are no accidents in your life. Both its harmonies and antagonisms are the responsive echoes of your thoughts. A man thinks, and his life appears.

If your dominant mental attitude is peaceable and lovable, bliss and blessedness will follow you; if it be resistant and hateful, trouble and distress will cloud your pathway. Out of ill-will will come grief and disaster; out of good will, healing and reparation. You imagine your circumstances as being separate from yourself, but they are intimately related to your thought world. Nothing appears without an adequate cause. Everything that happens is just. Nothing is fated, everything is formed.

As you think, you travel; as you love, you attract. You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. You cannot escape the result of your thoughts, but you can endure and learn, can accept and be glad.

You will always come to the place where your love (your most abiding and intense thought) can receive its measure of gratification. If your love be base, you will come to a base place; if it be beautiful, you will come to a beautiful place.

You can alter your thoughts, and so alter your condition. Strive to perceive the vastness and grandeur of your responsibility. You are powerful, not powerless. You are as powerful to obey as you are to disobey; as strong to be pure as to be impure; as ready for wisdom as for ignorance. You
can learn what you will, can remain as ignorant as you choose. If you love knowledge you will obtain it; if you love wisdom you will secure it; if you love purity you will realise it. All things await your acceptance, and you choose by the thoughts which you entertain.

A man remains ignorant because he loves ignorance, and chooses ignorant thoughts; a man becomes wise because he loves wisdom and chooses wise thoughts. No man is hindered by another; he is only hindered by himself. No man suffers because of
another; he suffers only because of himself. By the noble Gateway of Pure Thought you can enter the highest Heaven; by the ignoble doorway of impure thought you can descend into the lowest hell.

Your mental attitude towards others will faithfully react upon yourself, and will manifest itself in every relation of your life. Every impure and selfish thought that you send out comes back to you in your circumstances in some form of suffering; every pure and unselfish thought returns to you in some form of blessedness. Your circumstances are effects of which the cause is inward and invisible. As the father-mother of your thoughts you are the maker of your state and condition. When you know yourself, you will perceive, that every event in
your life is weighed in the faultless balance of equity. When you understand the law within your mind you will cease to regard yourself as the impotent and blind tool of circumstances, and will become the strong and seeing master.

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Your Mental Attitude is the key!

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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The Big Secret of Happy People

I want to share with you a secret that has helped me find happiness and contentment.

This 'secret of happiness' is a principle understood by the greatest minds in history.

Most people don’t understand the relationship between their thoughts and feelings.
The Buddha said, “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. If a man's mind becomes pure, his surroundings will also become pure.”

And from the Bible we get “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”

Does anger spring from nowhere? No you must first have a thought or image in your mind and those thoughts create the feeling of anger.

Henry David Thoreau knew that, “Thought is the sculptor who can create the person you want to be.”
And the point is not to try and think your way to happiness. The point is to understand that thoughts are just thoughts and create feelings.

Happiness is already within you. Just realize that thought is the link. You can have thoughts that make you happy, but these thoughts will come and go.

Ralph Waldo Emerson knew that, “The revelation of thought takes men out of servitude into freedom.”
Once you understand the relationship between thought and feeling just having the understanding can liberate you from depression.

The absence of negative thoughts creates a natural happiness and contentment within.

The key is to not let thoughts themselves become props for being happy. Let the natural happiness within rise from the absence and understanding that thoughts are just thoughts.

Now the key is to be aware when you feel anger, depression, or any uncomfortable feelings. When you are aware then you know your thinking is off.

This will allow you to stop, step back, take a deep breath and experience the release of these thoughts. When you can catch yourself being caught up in bad feelings you can quiet the mind, focus on your breathing and be amazed at this wonderful thing we call life.

Lonnie Young is a certified meditation teacher who now teaches the art of successful living.

To learn more about Lonnie’s work visit http://www.secretstosuccessfulliving.com

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Sunday, May 13, 2007

Five Methods Of Finding Personal Happiness In Life

Happiness is not something that comes easy to all of us. It is something that we may have to work on. We have to find a way to learn to be happy regardless of anything that happens in our life. It is something that we can do and do well. We do not have to worry about what others think, because this is our life and as far as it is known, we only get once chance in life and we have to make it great.

There are some methods that you can try so that you have all the happiness in life that you deserve. It is going to take some work and a lot of effort, but you can do it and once you see the way that you feel, you will know that it is worth it and that you have made the right choices in life. Taking these methods into consideration is very important. You need to make things work for you so that you are able to do well in life and to get all your goals achieved.

Without happiness, life is meaningless. We have to first set goals. Once we have goals in place and we know what we want, we have to figure out a way to get there. We need to find ways to make things happen for us so that we can have the very best in life that we deserve. We need to make our life special so that we are able to feel good at the end of the day. When we are setting goals that we want in life, we will be able to start to feel good about our life because we will have a goal to work hard for.

Second, we need to remember that we have to live for today. We need to make sure that we are using our best intentions and making the days that we have worthwhile. We need to of course think about our future and make sure that we are making the right choices so that we are safe and secure, but we also need to bring some fun to our life and to make sure that are succeeding in all our goals.

Another thought is to think about what would make us lose our happiness. What could happen in our lifetime that would make us feel badly about who we are and not be happy anymore? These are things that we defiantly need to stay away from. We have to make sure that we are able to keep the negative things out of our life so that we are able to make good choices without risking looking our happiness. We need to make sure that we are able to make these things work for us and to continue to stay happy.

Being healthy is the fourth thing that we need to do to ensure that we are happy. We need to make good health choices so that we are able to stay happy and healthy no matter what we do. We need to continue to eat the right way and to think about the choices that we make for our body. We need to keep ourselves from anything that will make us unhealthy and sick. We have to keep the negative things out of our body and also stay in good mental health so that we are able to be emotionally and physically happy as well.

Lastly we need to keep the good feelings in our hearts. We have to be able to keep these good feelings in our mind so that we can give back to others. We need to be pleasant and to try and be happy. The more pleasant that we are will mean that we will be able to stay happier as well as make others happy too. We want to make other people feel good about them. We want to be able to bring joy to others and keep thinking good thoughts. Do not let yourself get down and especially do not intentionally bring others down.

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Friday, May 11, 2007

Happiness By Way Of Visualization

Most successful business plans start by visualizing the outcome, and using that visualization to work backwards through a plan of action. This same process can be used (sometimes called the Law of Attraction) to help you visualize a successful and productive and happy life for yourself.

Understand that happiness is important too. All the material success in the world is meaningless if you work yourself into a knot of misery and stress. One of the best ways to make sure your success doesn't kill you is to visualize the things that make you happy as well. Using visualization to bring yourself happiness is a gradual process. Be patient and don’t skip to the next step if you haven’t mastered the previous one.

The first step is to be honest with yourself, and figure out what makes you happy. Build your life around what makes you happy, because being happy is the most important part of being alive. Happiness comes from within. Genuine happiness is born from intrinsic goals, and it’s important that you know your goals before you begin. Then break it down into the following steps:

What – What are your goals? What about this goal makes you happy when contemplating it?

Who –Who can help you achieve your goals? What can you offer them for this help?

Where – Where does this goal, and your happiness, take place?

When – When do your goals happen? Are you going to put them off to do other things first?

Now that you've itemized what brings you happiness, it's time to put those elements together, and make them real. Visualization is good for planning, and essential for execution, but visualization by itself isn't enough without action. Make sure your goals for happiness are concrete, and focus on achieving them every morning when you wake up – review them, consider them, and run with them. Make an internal image of completing these goals, and memorize every detail of that image to help you achieve them.

After your morning review, choose three things to accomplish towards your goal at the start of the day, and make sure they get done first. Work towards your own happiness – nobody else will. Don’t let present limitations confine your imagination. Determine what you have to do to accomplish your goals and commit to doing them.

When you do this regularly, your brain will get used to what it’s hearing from you until it’s convinced that you’re virtually destined to make your dreams come true.

Mastering your visualization skills will take time, so be patient if it goes slowly at first. The ultimate payout is your happiness, and you deserve it.

Leon Edward helps others achieve personal and professional success, achievement of dreams and goals through subconscious programming, mind control, visualization, universal laws, hypnosis . He presents articles, ebooks online, CDs, MP3s and other resources in his Mind Control Roladex at http://www.justvisualizeit.net

Leon Edward also helps people improve IQ, focus, memory, concentration, public speaking, time management and reducing stress. Download his IQ Mind Brain Memory Self-Help library at his website http://www.IQMindBrainLibrary.com AND Visit his Self Improvement Articles at http://www.AwesomeSuccess.org

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Monday, May 7, 2007

You Think You Are Unhappy? Think Again

If you would spend some time to research into the life of the third world countries, you might start to shed some tears after a while. Their living conditions are just dreadful. Diseases are raging everywhere, people are dying every day. Compare this to the living condition in developed countries, and this will be a real eye-opener if you have never been thinking about this before.

I have to say that I’m a bit disappointed with ourselves. While we enjoy probably the best living condition, technologies, food, and health, we are still longing for something else. Something that is so elusive that we are willing to be unhappy in our pursuit of it. Nobody really knows what we actually want and need to be completely happy. Even when we are totally healthy and don't have any financial difficulty, most of us still feels that we lack something inside, that some part of us is still missing.

What I am going to say next might sound illogical, but it can illuminate your mind if you are willing to spend some time to ponder upon it. The reason you are unhappy is because you can afford the luxury to be unhappy. Let’s take a journey back to the time of our ancestors, the time when they have to hunt for their food and protect themselves from preying animals at night. Do you think they would have time to feel unhappy about their situation? No! Survival was a priority. Would you worry about happiness if you don’t know whether you would be alive or not tomorrow? I don’t think so.

Let’s observe this fact closer. When we are faced with a great challenge of fulfilling our basic needs such as food and shelter, we are focused on doing that only, and by “we” I mean “our mind”. As time went by, things changed and it becomes much easier to find food and shelter. As food is no longer a concern for us, our mind is free to wander about, to find the next thing we can tackle and conquer. This in turn gave birth to various technological advances in all areas of our life. As our life was getting better and better, the focus of our mind keeps changing. And we have now arrived at this point where happiness (or the lack thereof) is the focus of our mind.

It should be obvious by now that unhappiness boils down to the way our mind looks at things. It rarely has anything to do with our living condition or any outer circumstances. Our mind tends to look at things up close that it disregards the big picture of things. We need to zoom out. We need to understand that when we look at things up close, we lose the sense of oneness with anything else in life. We become unhappy.

I hope you will contemplate upon this and try to comprehend the true nature of the mind. Fortunately, with practice, we can gradually learn to control our mind, to direct the flow of our thoughts to benefit us. Don’t expect this to happen overnight though. It’s easy to fall into bad habit, but it’s so hard to form a good habit. I believe though that with enough perseverance nothing is impossible.

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Thursday, May 3, 2007

Seizing the Moment: Live It

Happiness, motivation, peak performance, and energy come when we're living in the moment. Jon Niednagel, Director of the Brain Type Institute in California and an expert in how the brain works to regulate mental and physical performance, says, "Happiness will come when we're more or less just perceiving life, enjoying it, and relaxing." How can you do this? "Stop analyzing everything. People need to loosen up and be involved not so much in the results, but the process." We all perform our best when we get involved in the process and enjoy the process. Take as an example a conversation you are having with a friend or colleague. How annoying it is when you don't get her full undivided attention. Her eyes look in a different direction, she fidgets, checks somebody else out. She really isn't listening to what you're saying but is preparing to launch into her own monologue, almost unaware of your thoughts or feelings. That friend or colleague should be concentrating on exactly what is happening in that moment. She should be caught up in perceiving that moment in time, focusing on what you are saying, how you are saying it, the emotion of the moment. The mistake many of us make is in ignoring the moment. By doing so we really hold the present off at arm's length. We stand back from it and ponder it rather than participating in it. Nowhere is that more exasperating or evident than in a conversation. A great conversationalist is totally caught up in what you are saying, understands what it is you are communicating, feels your emotion, and then reacts in a natural and empathetic way.

When someone is preparing his own rebuttal during the time you are talking, he escapes the moment and misses whatever you may be communicating. I notice this is especially true in television journalism. You will see an interviewer fidgeting with cards, listening on an earpiece to a producer, preparing the next question ... anything but listening to the interviewee's answer. The very best interviewers are totally caught up in what their subject is saying. That's what's so innocent and charming about Katie Couric's style of television. She doesn't pretend to be interested, she is. She senses how you feel. Oprah Winfrey completely blocks out the technical aspects of television in order to enter completely into the moment. During a recent show it was explained to her how white flour, white potatoes, white rice, and white bread increase blood sugar levels whereas brown rice and black beans maintain a healthfully lower blood sugar. Now most TV personalities would be quickly moving onto the next point, reading a cue card, looking at the monitor, checking time cues. Oprah, totally in the moment, turned to me and said, "So what you're saying, Doctor, is that white is bad, white is bad and brown and black are good," to the delight of her audience.

CONVENTIONAL WISDOM: Worry.
THE REALITY OF SUCCESS: Life is a command performance. Live in the moment.

We will continue next time furthering the aspects of Seizing the Moment, such as acting, reading aloud, and incorporating selflessness.

Dr Leo Kady

About Author

Dr Leo Kady is a retired physician and researcher and relishes information in a variety of fields. Dr Kady is an editor for uPublish.info ... http://www.upublish.info . Please feel free to peruse more articles on psychology at uPublish.info

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Sunday, April 29, 2007

5 Tips To Add More Spice To Your Life

You know the old saying “variety is the spice of life”, and although many such phrases are just nonsense, this one is anything but. Because let’s be honest, sometimes our lives can become routine. We settle into a comfort zone and boredom and dissatisfaction can soon follow. If you’re looking for some exciting ideas to spice up your life, here’s my top 5 tips – go on, give them a try!

1. Once a week, visit somewhere you’ve never been before. A city, town or village, a museum, a theater, a restaurant, café, or bar, a park, a zoo, a wood or forest – get the idea? Visiting new places broadens your horizons and helps to keep life fresh and interesting.

2. The biggest thief that will ever enter your home does so by your invitation. Your television can steal something more valuable from you than any other thief on the planet: Your precious, non-renewable life time. Time to stop this little thief from pilfering any more! At least once a month, spend an entire week without watching any television and use the time to do something much more life-enhancing. You could workout, read books, learn a new subject – languages, cookery, swimming, diving, computers, wine-tasting, crafts, astronomy, astrology, music, advanced driving, drama, take up a new sport – the list is endless. You’ll meet people, you’ll develop more skills, you’ll add to your knowledge and you’ll develop more confidence. And you’ll feel more alive! Beats sitting indoors watching soaps, the news, repeats and a barrage of commercials doesn’t it? I’m sure you’ve heard people say “I’d love to try something new but I just haven’t the time”. It’s common isn’t it? Yet many people are totally unaware of how much television they watch. Let’s be conservative and say it’s an average 4 hours a day. 4 x 7 = 28 hours. Imagine what you could achieve if you devoted 28 hours a week to doing something far more constructive?

3. Fancy a challenge – something that will test you to the limit? How about a survival weekend? There are many courses available for this, from basic outdoor survival to more specialized ones for arctic, desert and jungle survival. You’ll learn more about the environment, you’ll develop survival skills and again, you’ll meet new people and share a highly rewarding experience. To find courses, use the Internet search engines – “survival weekend”, “survival courses” and “learn basic survival” as search terms.

4. Spontaneity can bring excitement and adventure into life. Doing things on the spur of the moment is fun too! So why not just do something totally unplanned? Get in the car and drive somewhere, go to the train station and take a train journey somewhere, or, for a holiday, just visit your travel broker or go direct to the airport and see what deals they’ve got for you to go there and then. Have your bags packed and ready and don’t forget your passport! This brings the unknown into our lives, and although this can be a little bit frightening, it’s also very exciting too. Enjoy the adventure!

5. I’ve saved the best till last! When it comes to living a happy, fulfilled life, a life where you do all things you really want to do, fear is the biggest threat you will have to face. It ruins the hopes and dreams of millions and millions of people. Every time you give in to a fear, you lose. You miss out on opportunity, experience and happiness. So do something you are afraid of. Yes, I know it is very hard to do this but the alternative – giving in – is much more painful. If you’re afraid of heights, learn to abseil or climb. If you’re afraid of water, learn to swim. Flying – attend a fear of flying course. Frightened of driving? Start to learn. If you want to start a business, devote the time to become fully informed and start your research. Whatever it is, TAKE ACTION to beat it. Fear only exists in one place – YOUR MIND. It is an illusion that will set boundaries on your happiness. The only way to break through these boundaries is to confront fear and overcome it. When you do, your confidence will increase, you will experience more happiness and my word will you feel alive!

And there you are, five great ideas for you to try. Make them work for you by putting them into action and don’t forget: Knowledge isn’t power, it is putting our knowledge in to action so it works for us is what empowers us!

Until next time.

About Author

Chris Green is the author of the new acclaimed book "Conquering Fear", the complete guide to overcoming fear and attracting more success, prosperity and happinessinto your life. Welcome to your personal power revolution! For more info, Click Here==>http://www.conqueringfear.net

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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Top 3 Yogi's Secrets for Health and Happiness

For hundreds of years, the yogi's have been known to know the secrets for health, peace and happiness. In this short, but informative article, I will briefly describe 3 of these secrets with you.

Let's get started:

Secret#1: You are not your physical body.

The Yogis believe, you know, that the real Man is not his body. They know that the immortal "I" of which each human being is conscious to a greater or lesser degree, is not the body which it merely occupies and uses. They know that the body is but as a suit of clothes which the Spirit puts on and off from time to time. They know the body for what it is, and are not deceived into the belief that it is the real Man. But while knowing these things, they also know that the body is the instrument in which, and by which the Spirit manifests and works. They know that the fleshly covering is necessary for Man's manifestation and growth in this particular stage of his development. They know that the body is the Temple of the Spirit. And they, consequently, believe that the care and development of the body is as worthy a task as is the development of some of the higher parts of Man, for with an unhealthy and imperfectly developed physical body, the
mind cannot function properly, nor can the instrument be used to the best advantage by its master, the Spirit.

Secret#2: You are not your mind.

You need to realize the superiority of the "I" or "real self" over the mind, as well as over the body; the fact that the mind is not the "I" or "real self", but is merely an instrument for the expression of the "I"; the fact that the "I" is master of the mind, as well as of the body; that the "I" is behind all thought; that the "I" can set aside for consideration the sensations, emotions, passions, desires, and the rest of the mental phenomena, and still realize that it, the "I," is apart from these mental manifestations, and remains unchanged, real and fully existent; that the "I" can set aside any and all of its mental tools and instruments, as "not I" or "not real self" things, and still consciously realize that after so setting them aside there remains something--itself--the "I" which cannot be set aside or taken from; that the "I" is the master of the mind, and not its slave.

Secret#3: You are "one with everything"

To be truly happy and healthy, you need to be aware of "The Oneness of All". You need to bear in mind the Universality of Life. All of the Universe is alive, vibrating and pulsating with life and energy and motion. There is nothing dead in the Universe. Life is everywhere, and always accompanied by intelligence. There is no such thing as a dead, unintelligent Universe. Instead of being atoms of Life floating in a sea of death, we are atoms of Life surrounded by an ocean of Life, pulsating, moving, thinking, living. Every atom of what we call Matter is alive. It has energy or force with it, and is always accompanied by intelligence and life. Look around us as we will; at the animal world;at the plant world;yes, even at the world of minerals and we see life, life, life;all alive and having intelligence. When we are able to bring this conception into the realm of actual consciousness;when we are able not only to intellectually accept this fact, but to even go still further and _feel_ and be conscious of this Universal Life on all sides, then are we well on the road to attaining
the Cosmic Consciousness.

There you have it, 3 Yogi's secrets for health and happiness! Start meditating on these 3 universal truth and you will begin to see some positive change in life.

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Saturday, April 21, 2007

Harmonizing for Happiness

Copyright 2005 Julian KalmarHarmonizing is a means of becoming happier by aligning yourself with the way the world is unfolding.To illustrate, imagine yourself in a moving crowd. If the crowd changes direction and you stubbornly insist on traveling in a straight line at the same speed, there will be collisions, upset, and maybe even a fight.Amazingly, this is how a lot of people operate—indifferent to the discord they are creating around themselves. They unknowingly create tension and unrest because they don’t know how to harmonize with their environment. def. Harmonizing – the intentional process of making small changes in your choice of actions to enhance the greater good."

Two primary means of creating harmony are: altering the timing, and altering the location of your actions. Consider the following example, which has the potential for discord.Let’s say you have two things to accomplish one quiet Saturday morning: packaging up and taking three boxes to the post office, and writing a proposal. Just as you sit down to write the proposal, your neighbor starts mowing his lawn. The noise is unbearably distracting.You have several options. You could try to write the proposal in spite of the noise, but you’ll probably just get angry at your neighbor.

You could try to find another place to write, although that could be very inconvenient. You could plead with your neighbor to delay the lawn-mowing, but that would likely upset his plans. Or, you could package up your three boxes first and head to the post office. By the time you return, the mowing will be over. Clearly, the most harmonious option is the last one.By becoming sensitive to the first inklings of inharmony, and then actively considering whether you can alter the timing or location of your actions, you can significantly improve your happiness level.Timing and location changes aren’t the only ways to increase harmony, however. Consider the lawn-mowing example again. What if your neighbor really needs to mow at exactly the same time that you must write your proposal? Both of you have committed to schedules that put you in each other’s way. Now what?How about this? Tell your neighbor that you’d be happy to mow his lawn for him if you could have this quiet time you so desperately need.

Not only does this solve both of your problems, it breeds good will. Next time he’ll mow your lawn when he does his. Rather than struggling through the noise and getting secretly angry at your neighbor, you’ve found a solution that makes you friendlier to one another.This goes beyond the “win-win” situation—where competitors each try to get their fair share. It actually creates harmony and friendship by enhancing good will. I call these, “harmonizing solutions.” Everyone gets what they need, and friendship is bolstered.Creating harmonizing solutions requires two things: good will and creativity. Begin with good will and then imagine creative ways to help each other succeed. A harmonious solution can almost always be found. Happiness is the natural byproduct.

About Author

Monday, April 16, 2007

Two Rules for Happy Living

In "New Slant on Life", a book written by L. Ron Hubbard, we find the following:

"Two rules for happy living:

"1. Be able to experience anything.

"2. Cause only those things which others are able to experience easily."

I would first like to discuss rule #2: "Cause only those things which others are able to experience easily."

How well do you apply this to your spouse? To your boyfriend; girlfriend? To your boss; your employees?

How often do you cause something that another does NOT experience easily? And when that does happen, what kind of other effects are you left with? You usually have upsets, some of which may linger for some time.

Step back and reflect for a few seconds. If you saw completely eye to eye with "cause only those things which others are able to experience easily", you could virtually eliminate all upsets from your life.

If your marriage were free from upsets, what kind of an effect would this have?

Some people think that upsets are a "fact of life" and that every marriage has them. Well, so far that's very true. They indeed are a fact of life. But you could go very far in reducing the number of upsets by applying just one principle: "cause only those things which others are able to experience easily."

Next time you find yourself in a situation where your next action or your next communication is NOT going to be experienced easily, CHANGE the action, CHANGE the communication to something that CAN be experienced easily.

This principle may sound very, very simple. And indeed it is. But it is also very powerful.

Which brings us to rule #1: "Be able to experience anything."

This principle doesn't really leave much for interpretation, does it? Anything means anything! So whatever comes your way, be able to experience it.

If your wife comes up to you and tells you she just overdrew the checking account, BE ABLE TO EXPERIENCE that.

In this one example, we have the wife causing something that the husband might not experience very easily. But instead of the husband going into a major tirade, he decides that he is ABLE TO EXPERIENCE it. This situation has definite potential for causing an upset, an upset that might affect the overall condition of the marriage. But one person stepped up and applied one of the two rules for happy living.

Now, if BOTH partners were working earnestly on applying BOTH rules for happy living, we would indeed have a much happier marriage.

Use these two rules to the best of your ability. You will find every one of your relationships improving daily!

About Author

The material in this article is based on information found in “When the Thrill is Gone: How to put the Life and Excitement Back into ANY Relationship,” by Stan Dubin. This book contains new and innovative tools to help you run a successful marriage. For more information on this book, go to http://www.MarriageSuccess.com. Copyright (c) 2001 Workable Solutions. All Rights Reserved. Quoted material by L. Ron Hubbard: (c) 1965 L. Ron Hubbard Library. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

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Saturday, April 14, 2007

Happiness Through Honorable Actions

Copyright 2005 Julian Kalmar Do you want to live with a strong sense of peacefulness, happiness, goodness, and self-respect? The collection of happiness actions* broadly categorized as “honor” help you create this life of good feelings.As the American Heritage Dictionary defines it, honor is “Personal integrity maintained without legal or other obligation.” It’s a deep sense of rightness in our choice of actions. However, this sense of rightness does not display itself as ugly self-righteous behavior. It is a quiet personal experience of rightness that leads to a lasting sense of well-being.Here’s an example to show how honorable actions create happiness.Say a store clerk fails to charge us for an item.

If we don’t say anything, we receive an immediate reward, don’t we? We feel excited by our good fortune, and could leave the store with a sense of glee. We made no mistake and we made no effort to cheat them. So, why not allow the error to benefit us? It seems we would still be able to respect ourselves afterwards. To discover why we should take honorable action, we need only play out each possible future.If we keep silent, and profit from the clerk’s mistake, we would leave the store with adrenaline coursing through our veins; we would get away with something. We would drive home with a sense of sneaky excitement. Later we might tell our spouses or friends about our good fortune.On the other hand, if we tell the clerk about the uncharged item, the clerk would be grateful and thank us for our honesty. We would leave the store with a quiet sense of honor that we might never share with another soul.In the first case, where we don’t tell the clerk, a couple of things would happen. Deep down inside we would know ourselves as a type of thief, as evidenced by our sneaky excitement.

In the process, we would lose some peace of mind and self-respect. We would also demonstrate that we cannot be trusted, since we advertise our dishonor by telling our spouses and friends. We tarnish our own reputations by telling others.In contrast, bringing the error to the clerk’s attention causes different things to happen. Immediately the clerk knows us to be honorable. They like us. They remember us thereafter and treat us well. Upon leaving the store, we reflect on our sense of goodness. We feel honorable and our self-respect is boosted. Our kindness to the clerk is reflected back to us immediately and over the long term when they see us again.Whenever we take honorable action we gain the deep internal rewards of self-respect, peace of mind, goodness, and a sense of nobility. All of these greatly contribute to our sense of well-being. Honorable actions create happiness.There is a beautiful positive cycle that is created by living a life of honorable actions. Honorable thoughts lead to honorable actions. Honorable actions lead us to a happier existence. And it’s easy to again think and act honorably when we’re happy.

Unfortunately, there is a negative version of this cycle. Dishonorable thoughts lead to dishonorable actions that lead to pain and unhappiness. Unhappiness leads to more dishonorable thoughts. So, strive for the positive cycle. While it can be difficult to start, once it’s started, it’s easy to continue.The opportunities for expressing honor—and thus for becoming happier—are all around us. In our work-lives we express honor by always doing quality work, never leaving details unattended, working in the company’s best interest, treating customers and employees well, never working in a divisive spirit, and striving to promote harmony.In our larger lives we express honor through honest and ethical actions, being punctual, doing what we promise, holding ourselves accountable for our actions, treating others with respect, and so on.

Although the list is endless, the common theme is a sense of quiet rightness. We feel quiet; at peace with our thoughts and actions.Many people look to books of laws, or religious teachings to know what is honorable, but you can almost always tell honorable actions by consulting your inner spirit. Simply ask yourself which course of action creates the least internal and external turmoil in the long run. Predictions of your mental quietude are good guides.Just as we did with the inattentive store clerk example, ask yourself if you would be more or less peaceful; happier or unhappier in the long run; more self-respecting or less; more honorable or not.If you always choose the honorable route, you are never plagued by the fear of "being discovered" and no one can ever threaten to expose your past. That brings the peace of mind essential for genuine happiness.* Happiness actions – the physical and mental actions that naturally and automatically create a strong sense of well-being.

About Author

More happiness teachings are available in Julian Kalmar's 4-CD audio collection, “Happiness: The Highest Gift.” This collection won the June 2005 "Audio-of-the-month" award; also received by Nelson Mandela, Wayne Dyer, and Marc Allen. (http://www.thehappinessformula.com)

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Thursday, April 12, 2007

Some Straight Talk About Your Success And Happiness

I want to warn you: this article can cause some discomfort, indignation and sense of insult in minds of people who are not ready to be successful. If you are not ready to face the truth, please don't read this article, because I don't want to hurt your feelings for nothing.If you've decided to keep reading answer a couple of questions first.How old are you? What have you done in all these years that you can be proud of? What have you done to become successful and happy person? And now let me ask you just one last question - WHY aren't you successful and happy yet?

In my long practice with people I've heard so many different answers that if I’d decide to write them all down I could publish a 500 page book. I'd call it "The guide for people who want to be miserable and stay that way forever". Think about it... Who is responsible for you not being happy and successful?Not your neighbors, not your wife, not the circumstances, not the economy or the weather. YOU ARE. It is YOUR life, YOUR choices and YOUR responsibility. I know it is very hard to accept, because we are so used to blame everyone and everything for our unhappiness and our failures. We don't want to take responsibility for our actions.

Furthermore, we’re afraid of the responsibility because if something goes wrong we will have no one to blame for it, but ourselves. This includes the level of your achievements, the quality of your relationships with other people, the state of your physical health, your debts or your lack of self discipline. When you refuse to accept responsibility for the situation, you lose control over it. You will feel depressed and frustrated because you can't change the circumstances, you can't change the economy and you can't change other people, you can only change yourself. That change will give you great benefits. Instead of a life victim, you will become a successful, self-confident person. You will make life what you want it to be.

Responsibility for the actions and self-esteem is the only small but crucial difference between a dismal failure and an impressive success. It doesn't take long to go from failure to success. All it takes is an attitude adjustment.You can start making small changes in your life right this moment. Don't wait any longer, because until you don’t do something about your life, nothing is ever going to change. For example, if you had a fight with someone, say "I'm sorry I overreacted. I shouldn't have yelled at you". Don't say "You said this or did that. You made me lose my temper!" If you are late for work, say "I'm sorry, I overslept. I'll make sure it won't happen again". Don't say "My alarm clock didn't ring" or "Traffic was really bad".If you screw up, admit it. Take the responsibility for your actions instead of saying "Mistakes were made".Learn from your mistakes. Analyze what kind of changes you can make right now to achieve your goals in future.

Important thing is to constantly move forward. Don't wait for the opportunity to appear at your door step or the planets align the right way. Create your own opportunities.

About Author

Arina Nikitina is the owner of website where she shares proven tips and techniques on how to lead happy and fulfilling life you deserve. Visit:

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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

May the Budgie of Happiness Sit on Your Head

Copyright 2005 Maureen Killoran My grandmother, Mimi, was a great solitaire player. My family legacy is mainly memories, so I especially cherish my few tangible mementos. Especially a photograph of Mimi, when she was in her mid-70’s, sitting at the kitchen table, solitaire game in progress and a small green “budgie” (aka parakeet in this country) atop her head. You need to realize that my grandmother was a lady. She’d been an executive secretary in her working days, and there was a dignity about her that somehow hadn’t translated into subsequent generations. Genteel, she was. Prim. Proper even. That’s why the budgie picture is such a delight. If it is possible for my grandmother to relax enough to tolerate a bird in her hair – and allow a photograph! -- then it is possible for anyone to let go, let down and play. She knew what could happen. She knew what birds do . . . and she yet, let it sit there, let this fragile little creature just be. The approaching summer will bring opportunities, and if we’re not careful we’ll find ourselves too busy . . . too tired . . . too dignified . . . too preoccupied . . . to step outside the lives of our safe and comfortable everyday. We'll be too worried about being careful . . . to concerned about acting our age . . . too busy thinking about tomorrow to pay attention today. And yet: When something knocks on your door and asks, “Can [your name] come out to play?”, remember. You can’t know if this invitation is one of many or the last one that may come your way. Life is like that. I have a new bumper sticker that says, “Don’t Postpone Joy.” I think this is what Alice Walker had in mind when she wrote, in The Color Purple, “I think it [irritates] God when you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it” (Those of you who remember the book will realize I’ve tidied up the verb somewhat, although I admit the sentiment was more effective written her way!) Joy, playfulness, doing your version of letting a budgie sit on your head – these are our human way of saying “thank you” to the Universe for the gift of life – long life, short life, whatever weeks and days and years remain. So, here’s my summer wish for you: Let the budgie of happiness sit on your head. Recognize there are consequences, but live with it. Let your motto be, "Don't Postpone Joy." May room for happiness, make time for play. Every day.

About Author

Maureen Killoran, MA, DMin, is a Life Coach who specializes in liberating people's strengths, values and passion. Don't miss Maureen's great new e-workbook, "Spirit Tickling: A Workbook for Curious Souls" -- a selection of her absolutely best articles, with questions to encourage your path of personal and spiritual growth. And for ongoing connection and monthly inspiration subscribe to Maureen's free e-zine, Seeds of Change.

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Sunday, April 8, 2007

The Elusive Butterfly of Happiness

Are You Chasing the Elusive Butterfly of Happiness?

For many people happiness is an elusive butterfly in the garden of life. Imagine a young child in the garden on a summer day. The child sees a beautiful butterfly flitting from flower to flower. With eyes of wonder the child wants to see it close up, touch it, and hold it in their hands. The child goes towards the flower that the butterfly is resting on, with arms out stretched, only to find as he just gets in reach, the butterfly moves to another flower. Undeterred the child follows the butterfly to the next flower, and then the next, but the butterfly always stays just out of reach.

As adults, happiness can seem just like that butterfly, always just out of reach. It becomes almost an obsession and the words “if only…” become an increasingly large part of our thoughts and vocabulary. If only I had more money I would be happy, if only I was in a great relationship I would be happy, if only I could have a different job……….and the list goes on. Even if we achieve one of our “if only “desires, the happiness we seek is still just out of our reach. The truth of the saying “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” becomes our focus and perception. If this becomes our focus, we find that dissatisfaction and unhappiness increasingly keep growing in our life and experience.

The unhappiness within us can not be completely satisfied by external events or circumstances. To find happiness in life we must first be at peace with ourselves internally. External events and circumstances can bring us happiness in the moment, but they do not have a lasting effect on our inner self. Life experience brings a mixture of good and bad circumstances to everyone. To rely on life’s experiences for our source of happiness would mean living life in a constant emotional roller coaster ride.

Happiness comes from within. The inner contentment that survives the roller coaster ride of life has its roots deep within our being. The source of happiness comes from finding and embracing who we are as a person, and living a life of purpose. We need to find peace in every aspect of our life- the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. To discover acceptance, purpose and peace in all of these areas will give a sense of completion in life. If we neglect any one of these areas, we experience a sense of emptiness and feel something is missing. There is not a solid foundation for building happiness within, but we then, typically start to try to fill this incompleteness by looking for outside solutions. That is the point when we can fall into the ‘elusive butterfly’ syndrome, and experience such frustration.

Is happiness an elusive butterfly for you? Spend some time in quiet reflection. Are you neglecting one of the four important parts of who you are and experiencing a sense of emptiness within? The more you discover, embrace and accept your uniqueness and purpose, the more you will experience the butterfly of happiness alighting on your shoulder.

About Author

Barbara White, of Beyond Better Development, speaks and writes with a passion to empower others to live life fully. This article is extracted from her newsletter “Growing Beyond Better. To subscribe to her newsletter, or read other articles visit For more on this topic read Barbara’s E book “Discovering and Celebrating Your Uniqueness” Click here

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Friday, April 6, 2007

Tomorrow's Happiness Begins Today

If you want to be happy tomorrow you need to begin working at it today. Some people spend their lives waiting for happiness to arrive on its own and it never comes. Others work hard at creating wealth but still aren’t happy, discovering that money only brings a whole different set of problems. Happiness is a state of mind and not the size of your bank account. Happiness is emotional and not physical. Each individual needs to work at creating their own happiness.

I like how Richard Bach, the author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull, put it when he said, “If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.”

To find happiness you first have to understand where happiness comes from. Memories are to the mind what a mirror is to the eyes - a reflection. The mirror reflects the physical while our memories reflect the emotional. When you look in the mirror it reflects what you look like; when you look in your mind it reflects who you are. One big difference between the two is that you can change what you see in the mirror but you can’t change the memories reflected in your mind.

We tend to spend a lot of time trying to improve what we see in the mirror, but little or no effort trying to improve our thoughts. Every action creates a memory. Do you really think that the person who is bitter and angry today was happy and cheerful yesterday? If a person says or does something which angers or upsets us, we can either add to the painful memory with our own negative actions or we can replace them with positive actions and create positive memories.

If you want to be happy tomorrow you must choose carefully what you do today, because today’s actions will be reflected in tomorrow’s memories and you can not make them go away. Everything you do today will be in tomorrow’s reflection. The next time a person angers you, instead of lashing out, try imagining that you are holding up a mirror that bounces the reflection back at him, knowing that his actions or words are a reflection of him and not of you.

We all want to like what we see in the mirror. To be truly happy we also have to like what we see reflected in our minds. What the mirror reflects is not nearly as powerful as what the mind reflects, for it reflects our words and actions.

What will your reflections be filled with? Will your reflections/memories be filled with goodness and joy or with bitterness and anger? What have you done today that will bring you happiness tomorrow?

About Author

Gary Mosher is co-author of the award-winning ‘Buddha in the Boardroom’, the business book that shows you how to excel in today’s chaotic and stressful workplace environment, available from Bodhi Tree Publishing, LLC at http://www.bodhitreepublishing.com

Visit Gary’s blog at http://www.buddhaintheboardroom.blogspot.com

Source: ArticleTrader.com

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Becoming Happy Through Self Help

Almost everyone have heard the hit single 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' by Bobby McFerrin. The song has a very catchy way of conveying its message of being happy to everyone. Bobby Mcferiin's simple message surely made a lot of people by telling them not to worry.

Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is wonderful, and is also good for your health. Being happy actually protects you from the stresses of life. Stress is linked to top causes of death such as heart disease, cancer and stroke.

One of the better things ever said is - The only thing in life that will always remain the same is change, and in our life we have the power to self help, make the necessary changes if we want to. Even if we find ourselves in an unbearable situation we can always find self help solace in the knowledge that it too would change.

Social networks or relationships are essential to happiness. People are different, accept people for who or what they are, avoid clashes, constant arguments, and let go of all kinds of resentments, concentrate on self help. If arguments seem unavoidable still try and make an effort to understand the situation and you might just get along with well.

Happiness is actually found in everyone, increasing it is a way to make a life more wonderful and also more healthy.

To be happy is relatively easy, concentrate on seff help and decide to be a happy person. Abraham Lincoln observed that most people for most of the time can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or troubled, how bright or dull their outlook to be. The choice is simple really, choose to be happy.

There are several ways by which you can do this.

Being grateful is a great attitude. We have so much to be thankful for. Thank the taxi driver for bringing you home safely, thank the cook for a wonderful dinner and thank the guy who cleans your windows. Also thank the mailman for bringing you your mails, thank the policeman for making your place safe and thank God for being alive.

News is stressful. Get less of it. Some people just can't start their day without their daily dose of news. Try and think about it, 99% of the news we hear or read is bad news. Starting the day with bad news does not seem to be a sensible thing to do.

Manage your time to be able to self help. Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can be viewed as a list of rules that involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating lists of things to do and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.

Laugh and laugh heartily everyday. Heard a good joke? Tell your friends or family about it. As they also say -'Laughter is the best medicine'. This is very easy and effective self help way.

Express your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you. They will most likely reciprocate your actions. Try not to keep pent up anger of frustrations, this is bad for your health. Instead find ways of expressing them in a way that will not cause more injury or hurt to anyone.

Working hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction. It gives a feeling of being competent in finishing our tasks. Accomplishments are necessary for all of us, they give us a sense of value. Work on things that you feel worthy of your time.

Learning is a joyful exercise. Try and learn something new everyday. Concentrate on self help learning. Learning also makes us expand and broaden our horizons. And could also give us more opportunities in the future.

Run, jog, walk and do other things that your body was made for. Feel alive.

Avoid exposure to negative elements like loud noises, toxins and hazardous places.

These are the few simple things you can do everyday to be happy.

And always remember the quote from Abraham Lincoln, he says that, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

About the Author

You cannot reach happiness without self help.
Interested in self help? Read more of my articles.

Article Source: OnlineEarnings Article Board

Monday, April 2, 2007

Happiness - The Gardening of the Soul

Copyright 2005 Julian Kalmar"Happiness actions" are the physical and mental actions that naturally and automatically create a sense of well-being in us. They work because there is a certain something within us—our internal wiring—that responds to these actions. Although there is some variation between people, many happiness actions are shared with just about everyone.For example, most people will feel good after doing physical exercise. Likewise, the mental activity of learning a new skill can be tremendously gratifying.

The most powerful happiness actions involve both mental and physical activities, and have astounding personal effects. Gardening is an excellent example. Providing it’s not overly strenuous, quietly tending a garden can create an enormous sense of tranquility. You get in touch with the soil and plants, and most importantly, your own thoughts. To get your hands in good soil, quickly puts you in communion with nature. There is nothing like filling a pot with soil, and patting it down with your hands. Making a little hole, putting a seed in it, and covering it over, brings an excited sense of anticipation. The magic of a little water and some time brings forth new life in a way that never gets old. Every day thereafter, there are visible changes in your little plant that are captivating.With a larger garden, there is even greater involvement. You quickly become part of the soil and plants. All your stresses melt away, and you lose yourself in the quietude of the experience. (When was the last time you got so carried away?)

Suddenly you’ll completely lose awareness of your problems with family, work, or the economy. Your biggest concern becomes, finding the critter responsible for eating the leaves of your tomato plant. Getting lost in “bug hunting” takes you back to earlier days when you were completely in touch with your real life.Then there’s that good tired feeling you get after spending hours in the garden. You sleep more soundly that night, since…you can’t remember when. A day or two later you start discovering muscles you never knew you had! Every movement brings with it an ache that reminds you of your gardening accomplishments and you feel good as you relive your experience communing with the spirit of your garden.Next comes the impossibility of passing by your garden without stopping to admire it. With that comes one of the highest things you can do for your sense of well-being.

You bathe in the appreciation of beauty. Is it any wonder that centuries ago it was discovered that people recovering from illness and injury recovered faster if they tended a garden? You cannot help but put something of yourself into the soil, the plants and the environment. As you cultivate your garden, so it cultivates a certain something upon your soul. Indeed, gardening is a spiritual experience. It connects us to the One-ness that is, to the oneness of where we truly are. We lose our I-ness, and unconsciously integrate into the flow of the universe. We fall into perfect harmony and finally arrive home.

About Author

Julian Kalmar is part of a small think tank dedicated to spreading happiness throughout the world. More happiness teachings are available in his 4-CD audio collection, “Happiness: The Highest Gift.” Julian recently joined the ranks of Nelson Mandela, Wayne Dyer and Marc Allen in winning the coveted "Audio-of-the-month" award. (http://www.thehappinessformula.com)

Source: ArticleTrader.com

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Where is Happiness?

Do you move through life feeling everyday is the same? Like some repeated pattern that goes on and on? For some people, there's nothing new to do under the sun, and nowhere to go. Everything is just boring, boring, boring. They work so hard to earn enough money to play, but yet their playtime passes so fast. Suffer five days, enjoy two days. Sometimes, to break the monotony, they seek thrill through intoxicants (alcohol, smoke), sex, and even drugs. For these temporary pleasures, it feels exciting while it's happening, but once it's over, the same pattern of meaninglessness sets in, and they're left thinking, "When can I get the next high?"

Perhaps you will recognize this scene... Two old men are sitting on a bus. As the bus passes by the red-light district, one old man says to the other, "Hey... aren't you going to see the chickens (prostitute) today?" The other man raises an eyebrow... a spark in his wrinkled eyes, "Yes, yes, I will be going this afternoon!" The first old man smirks, and says, "You didn't even bring your medicine, how can you DO IT?"

For some people, their lust is so strong, that they borrow money from family and friends, just to visit brothels. You will see this pattern in addicts. Drug addicts, sex addicts, alcohol addicts. They're always looking for the greater thrill and the next high, and that's what sets their life on a downward spiral. They waste their time, energy, and money, instead of using it to build success.

For life to have zest, everyone needs that natural feeling of drive, anticipation, and excitement. When one does not know how to get it naturally, one may resort to vices to stimulate that sense of being fully alive, desperately trying to bring some meaning into life. But you see, happiness is within you... If you can’t satisfy your wants, then the other way to happiness is to release them. Let go of that which you must have. Shakyamuni Buddha said that, "All desire leads to suffering..." Suffering because you crave what you do not have. And let me ask you this: Is this yearning self-created? Or something imposed on you by the outside world? Perhaps it's the outside world's fault because other people keep flaunting their luxuries and exotic experiences. But surely, we create this yearning within ourselves. It is within our power to control it, or release it altogether.

Lord Richard Layard, Professor from the London School of Economics, a leading happiness researcher, says, "Happiness is a balance between your expectations and your attainments. One way is to get what you want. The other, is liking what you get."

Many of our desires are misplaced. We think getting them will bring us happiness, but that is an illusion. These misplaced desires are nothing more than temporary pleasures. You don't need to satisfy your desires to be happy; you need only release them. Do you need the attention of the opposite sex? No, as you get older, your body parts will sag, and the opposite sex will pay less attention to you. Must you get laid to be happy? No, as you age, your sex hormones will lessen, and so will your desire to mate. Must you wait till you have a million bucks? Nope. Historical and worldwide research shows that above US$15,000 a year, higher income is no guarantee of greater happiness.

The people who feel good everyday, without resorting to vices, have one mental characteristic in common. They have a dream, and they know what they want to achieve in life. This sense of purpose drives them; gives meaning to their existence. They have discovered their soul's calling, and are living life to the fullest by following it. This is different from those who are 'party animals', "living life to the fullest" by drowning in deafening music, and shaking till the sun rises... That's not living, that's dying.

If you want to find true meaning and happiness in life, then you've got to uncover your life's purpose. For each of us has a unique destiny. A path made specially for you to walk on this journey through life. Follow it, and you arrive in paradise. Ignore it, and you continue to wander... wasting time, and life itself.

1. You need to know what you’re made of. Your talents, strengths, and abilities.

2. Craft a vision for yourself, and visualize that dream in your mind.

3. Work out a plan that sets your goals and decides what actions you must take to achieve them.

4. Tell your closest friends about it, and commit yourself to taking five of the planned actions everyday to build your dream.

When you see that your actions are creating results, it will be a natural source of excitement and inspiration. Instead of spending time, energy, and money on vices, you invest it in creating an upward spiral of success. By releasing your desire for temporary pleasures, you kick your bad habit out the door. By choosing to live your purpose and answer your soul’s calling, you break free from the chains of monotony, and find truth, meaning, and happiness in life.

About Author

Lance Ong is a Licensed Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Master Practitioner of Hypnotherapy and Timeline Therapy. He does life coaching to help clients gain clarity of purpose, while removing mental blocks to success. Learn Lance’s philosophy for better living at his Internet Blog Site – “Wisdom to Create a Beautiful World” – www.lancism.com

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Friday, March 30, 2007

The Incredibly Simple Secret to Happiness

Do I believe there is a secret to happiness? I'll bet you expect me to say "NO, there is just no simple secret." While it is true that there are many factors that affect our happiness, I believe there is one secret that determines whether those factors will work for you, and that is the secret to happiness.

But first, allow me to share a some history. In 2001, I published the first edition of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness. I did all the things authors do, right up to getting myself some media interviews. Being an old hand at media relations (actually, Canada's send-most-quoted consumer advocate at the time), you would think I would have been superbly prepared for the question that almost every journalist would ask me:

"So, which of the 9 habits is most important?"

What?! Which one is most important? Why, they are all important, of course. That's why I wrote about them all. I was obviously too close to the forest to see the trees. Or, in this case, the tree.

After being asked this question a few times, I was forced to think, and think hard. And out of nowhere, I had an "Aha!" moment that stands the test of time five years later.

One of the 9 habits I wrote about is more important than the others. One of my 9 habits activates all the others. One of my habits is the secret to happiness. It starts on page 83 of the second edition.

"Count Your Blessings"

It sounds so simple, and so, well, almost corny. But let me give you a concrete example of how this works.

Arithmetic for Happiness

Have you ever bought a new car? Remember the pride you felt and the excitement when you made the choice? When you signed the papers? When you drove it off the lot? Do you remember that "new car smell"?

Then something happened. Where is that pride today? Where is that excitement now? What happened to that "new car smell"?

Simple. You stopped counting your blessings. When you bought the car, it was a step up. Perhaps it was a better car. Or a bigger car. Or simply a car that would spend less days on the hoist. You were grateful. You were appreciative. You were counting this blessing.

It does not take long for a new blessing to be taken for granted. And the new car becomes just another thing in your life that you take for granted. Consider this incredible set of statistics:

- 99% of people in the developed world take shelter for granted.

- 99% of people in the developed world take breakfast for granted.

- 99% of people in the developed world take lunch for granted.

- 99% of people in the developed world take dinner for granted.

- 99% of people in the developed world take clothing for granted.

At the risk of sounding trite or glib, most people in the developed world take cars, televisions, computers, vacations, toasters, freedom of speech, paper clips and thousands of other conveniences for granted. In fact, a TV remote control that requires a battery change or a web page that takes more than five seconds to load are considered serious irritations.

Who is happier, the person grateful to be able to change those batteries and wait for that web page? Or the person grumbling about the time it takes and the inconvenience and the bother and why can't things work better? (Why don't they make things like they used to? Why does the lineup have to be so long? Why is it so cold outside? Why do I have to go to work today?)

Of course you have every right to complain any time you choose. Nobody wants to take away your right to be unhappy. But I would love to take away your unhappiness, if you are willing to take action.

Arithmetic Is Not Always Easy

This is where "counting your blessings", simple and even corny, is not as easy as it sounds. Our knee-jerk reaction is to complain, to grumble, to be frustrated, to feel almost offended when things don't work out "perfectly", just the way we want them to. Imagine poor God, sifting through the millions of prayers he receives daily. Despite the cornucopia of blessings we receive, I am willing to bet that he receives ten times more "Gimmee" prayers than "Thank you" prayers.

Counting our blessings in this day and age of entitlement is not as simple as it sounds, and it sure is not easy to do. In fact, billions of dollars of advertising conspire to reinforce the belief that whatever we have is not good enough and that we deserve better. Who is there to tell us we have enough? Who can help us feel happy with what we have?

You. Only you. Are you ready to give up your own natural knee-jerk reaction and choose to be happy?

You can have all the confidence in the world, but if you do not actively feel grateful for the fruits of your confidence, it will not bring you happiness. You can have immaculate health, but if you do not think about how wonderful that is, it will not bring you happiness. You can smile, build friendships, achieve success, win the lottery, or do whatever you desire, but if you are not saying every day, "Wow! This is wonderful. This is grand. I am the luckiest man (or woman) alive because of this," don't expect it to bring you happiness.

Yes, Virginia, there is a secret to happiness. The secret is simply gratitude. The secret is appreciation. Or, as I call it in Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness, the secret is to count your blessings.

About Author

This is an excerpt from 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. David Leonhardt is the author of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness.

Source: ArticleTrader.com

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Happy Talk and 3 Simple Secrets to Happiness

What is the one thing you want more than anything else for the people you love the most? If you had a magic wand what would you grant your family and friends? What is it that everyone wants?
To be happy!
How can you make other people happy until you are happy? How can you be happy?
Lester Levenson, creator of The Sedona Method, discovered the key to happiness. He searched for 47 years and nearly died in the process but he did find it. Do you want to know what it is?
Lester had a breakthrough after much soul searching and found out how to be happy only after reviewing his entire life. He spotted a common pattern, one that was present in every happy moment.Whenever he was feeling love towards another person he felt happy.And whenever he felt any other feeling he was not happy.
Test this principle for yourself. Think of a time when you were blissfully happy. Did you feel loving at that time? This works for me every time. Is this easy or what? Simply amazing!
If this sounds too simple to work I know that you have not tested it for yourself. Turning on a light bulb is easy too only because someone else figured it out!Now it is time for Happy Talk or how to talk in a way that makes your family and friends happy...

1 Be Happy Yourself
Spend twenty minutes asking yourself:
- who do I love most in my life?
- what do I love most about myself?
- what things do I love most in my life?
After doing this exercise you will feel much happier. And you will have done it without having to spend any money on expensive clothes, cars or holidays!

2 Spread the happiness Now that you feel happy you will radiate this to whoever you spend time with. Happiness is infectious. Just be yourself and top up the happiness by quietly asking yourself the above three questions when you are in company.

3 Show your friends and family how to be happy Depending on how well you know your friends you may want to approach this step in one of two ways.
If you want to play it safe ask your friend to talk about timeswhen she was happy. Let her talk and just listen as she relives those wonderful times from the past.Share your own favorite moments too. Enjoy yourself!If the people you are with are more open to the ideas we are discussing here take them through the steps I covered above in section one. Ask them these questions:
- who do you love most in my life?
- what do you love most about myself?
- what things do you love most in my life?
The Dalai Lama teaches that the purpose of life is to be happy.
Go on and live a life of purpose with your family and friends!

About Author

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at:

Source: ArticleTrader.com

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Happiness - It's Worth It

We all want to be happy, don't we? Is there truly anyone out there that would choose a life of anxiety and depression if faced with a choice? I don't think so, and having a positive attitude about happiness can change everything. I think deep down, we all want to be happy and I'd like to show you how all of us can achieve this happiness.

Life is fraught with problems. Maybe a divorce recently occurred or is in your near future. Maybe there has been a recent death in the family. Perhaps your kids have driven you to the last of your wits with their defiance. So, with all of this to be unhappy about you may ask, why be happy?

For starters, it's healthier. A person that does not let their problems weigh on their mind also does not let stress get to them physically. It is proven that happier people are healthier. They choose to focus their mind on the positives in their life therefore they keep their stress levels down, which keeps the heart pumping regularly, the blood flowing nicely, and the blood pressure down.

Need another reason for happiness? How about a positive influence on those around you. If you are a parent, or aunt or uncle, you have little ones looking up to you and learning from you as to how to deal with life. If you are often in public, your influence is felt by everyone you have contact with. A positive influence is definitely better and more productive than a negative one.

Success in your life's pursuits is also a reflection of your mental state. If you go into your life's work with a negative attitude, you may be able to keep the job because you are doing the work, but you probably will not have much success in that job. If you want to have success in all of your life's pursuits, you must go in with a positive attitude. If you think that your accomplishments are small, they will be, but if you expect those accomplishments to be big and make a difference, they will be. Your attitude will certainly influence your successes in your life's pursuits.

One of the first steps to take in accomplishing this happiness is to figure out within yourself what keeps you from being happy. Is it a major event in your life that's constantly on your mind? Is it a feeling of incompetence? Is it a self esteem issue that's been with you since your youth? Working this out within yourself is an important step. Journaling is an excellent way to do this.

If you sit down and make a list of everything that is bothering you, you will have a much better chance of coming upon the thing that is truly holding you back from being happy. Not a writer? If you have a close friend that you can confide in, maybe you could bend their ear and together you and the friend will find the source of the problem.

If you don't want to confide in someone you know, maybe a therapist will help. Once you've had an opportunity to work out what the problem is, you will be in the right position to draw up a plan of attack and finally reclaim the sunshine in your life.

Once you have found the source of the problem, it is time to eliminate it. If your dark cloud comes every time you think about the problem, you have to find a counter device. If your mind tends to dwell on the negative, every time your mind goes there, find something that makes you happy to think about. After you've done this a few times, it will become a natural thing for you to refocus your mind on the positive when it drifts to the negative.

If you're upset and are having a hard time finding happiness because of a temporary event in your life, try reminding yourself that this is temporary and eventually you'll be able to look back on it with less than negative feelings. By remembering that nothing lasts forever, you'll better be able to focus on the positive that will eventually return to your life.

Happiness is something that everyone can achieve. It is something that everyone deserves and it's worth working for when times are rough. A focus on the positive will remind you that the negative is temporary and that no matter what, there is always something in life to remain happy about.

About the Author

Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of my-personal-growth.com, a site that provides information and articles for self improvement and personal growth and development.

Article Source: OnlineEarnings Article Board

Friday, March 23, 2007

The Natural Formula for True Happiness

"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands." Remember that song from your childhood? Sometimes I sing it to my kids and it always makes them laugh. Do you know if you're happy?

Abe Lincoln said, "Most people are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Based on history, we know that Lincoln had tremendous personal, business and political problems throughout his entire life.

In order to overcome his many disappointments, bear his heavy burdens and accomplish all that he did, while still considering himself to be a happy person, Abraham Lincoln must have realized that he was responsible for his own happiness.

But, if that's true, how do you create happiness? Is there a formula that we can use? And, if so, what is it?

Recently, British researchers interviewed and studied a wide selection of over a thousand men and women to find out what makes people happy. Their intention was to discover a formula for true happiness. Here's what they found.

Whether you're young or old, married or single, you probably already realize that men and women are different, right? After all, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. So therefore, the research results would have to reveal something that most of us already know - men and women find their happiness in different ways.

You're probably aware of some of the ways, but others might surprise you. The women, for example, enjoyed being with family, felt good when they lost weight and said that sunny weather really turns them on. These were the specific daily events that, on the whole, were found to most influence women's happiness.

Men, on the other hand, had a completely different list for their favorite happy events. The men's happiness was most influenced by hobbies, sex and the victories of their favorite sports teams. So far, is anybody surprised?

But weren't there any areas where men and women agreed? Happily, there were! Both found that, in priority order, good health, strong friendships and financial stability were at the top of their list. And that's not all the grounds for mutual happiness.

This research proved that, without a doubt, what had the most influence on a person's happiness was his or her general attitude about life. That included feelings about their past, adaptability to their present and expectations for their future. In other words, an optimistic, positive point of view creates happy feelings.

So, what's "The Happiness Formula"? Just like Lincoln said, you have to first make up your mind to be happy and lay down a foundation of optimistic attitude. Changing your perspective to a positive outlook about your past, present and future can take some work, but happiness is worth it.

Next, you need to add health, friendships and financial stability. This means you take steps to get and stay healthy, cultivate relationships and effectively manage your finances.

After that, throw in a sprinkling of all the other male or female things that turn you on - depending on which you are. And, voila, according to research, you've got the natural formula for true happiness!

About the Author

Michael Byrd has over 18 years of education and experience in the fields of physical therapy, health, fitness and nutrition. Michael shares the many fish oil health benefits he has discovered as well as other nutritional breakthroughs that will help you to get happy and stay happy along with feeling better and staying healthy. Get your Free CD by visiting http://www.omega-3.us.

Article Source: OnlineEarnings Article Board

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Happiness Is Like Building A Home

People always ask me why am I always so happy even when this are not so good.
I usually tell them the first positive thing I see or feel, My view on life really is that things could be worse, Believe me someone somewhere is having a worse day for completely different reasons.
If you are reading this then life really is not so bad, You can read which allows you to learn and become a better person, If you have access to a computer you must have some means which makes you far richer that say a starving child in a country that may be ravished with drout. Even the person starving may feel positive in some ways as they have the sun on their back when it could also be very cold it depends on your view.

This is Your starting point, be very aware of the good things you have around you, regardless of how small they are, and this will give you something to build on. This then is how you take control of your happiness, Find something you enjoy and do it, Start with simple things like going for a walk in a nice place, the beach, a park, it burns calories so will make you look better, If you lack company go somewhere where there are people, say hello, It costs nothing. My wife likes clothes and love to shop online at www.j-lou.com because they are different, If she's having a down day as I call it, I buy her something to cheer her up, it turns up like a present and take her out somewhere she likes wearing her new article of Womens clothing

This usually works as she then becomes more happy and I get the spin that my life seems happier also. This works for me to lift her, as two things come out of it the feeling that I have surprised her and taken enough notice that she needs help and enjoyed some time with her as i have the excuse to take here out.

You can also get Happiness by giving to others, Then reap the reward of your efforts. Adding memories and becoming more aware of what others need It brings people closer to you, Prepare that special meal, share a bottle of wine or have a chat over a cup of tea/coffee Its about effort, Happiness is not going to say hello here I am, happy every after, You do have to put in the effort.
If you have recently gone through a break up remember there is always someone else, there is always You to count on, Learn to like yourself, again starting at the positive points, ie, I am a man, I'm not too short im not to tall, I'm not brad pitt but I'm not the elephant man either
(yes he had positives, no one wants to pay and see me lol), I can hold a conversation, I can swim, I can drive, I've got a car, i haven't finished but won't go on, But you can see how suddenly if I mount these up There would be lots of things to like about myself, NEVER bring yourself down.
By stripping things back to basics this allows us to see clearer that happiness is formed within us learning to be happy with what we have today and anything else is a bonus our expectation levels which we put on ourselves reduces. ( EXPECTATION: the root causes of sadness ). not having a bigger house, not having a better job, more money, better car, etc, etc.

Test: Heres a test for you,

Make your self a really nice sandwich sit down and take your time and enjoy the flavours.
The next time you make a sandwich start making a second one whilst eating the first.
The latter is Far less enjoyable.
You will see that this is what people do with their lives they do not appreciate whats in front of them whilst chasing the dream.

Today will never be here again and a week when healthy would be swapped for a year with serious illness, a cuppa with a friend is worth more than a night at a premier with No-one to talk to or share with, Each sunrise mean a new day ahead the past is something to learn from and the future is the unknown adventure.

Put your best foot forward and make it a good day and happiness is but a short step away.

Womens clothing

Please post this article and It just might help someone, This would be your first step in getting joy by helping others.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Jacobs

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Happiness – Discover The Number One Enemy Of Happiness

It’s amazing how almost everywhere you look today you can see stories about people who do all kinds of things to acquire happiness. There is more money, more entertainment, and more opportunities in the world than ever before but there seems to be even more unhappiness than ever before.

You see, people try to find happiness in things like money, relationships, and other material things, but find that it just leaves them empty. The truth of the matter is that you can never be truly happy unless you are doing what you are made to do. There is something on the inside of you that has huge potential and the ability to change the world you live in.

And the main reason why you, along with most people, don’t accomplish that greatness is because of fear. Fear is the main enemy of happiness. If you had no fear, then you would do whatever it is that’s in your heart to do. And by doing so, you would be happy because you would know that you are doing everything you were meant to do in this life.

What fears are holding you back from living your best life? What is it that you dream about doing but are afraid to do? The thing is this, you could have all the things in this world at your fingertips, but if you knew that you weren’t doing what you were born to do, you would live a miserable and unhappy life.

Expose fear, confront it, and make a decision to defeat the enemy of your happiness. Living to your full potential in life is the greatest, most fun, and most thrilling thing that you could ever do.

Is there greatness on the inside of you but you don't know how to achieve it? Jason has just completed his brand new 7 part e-course, 'Find Your Greatness'

Get it free when you subscribe at: http://www.findyourgreatness.com

Jason and Rebecca Osborn have dedicated themselves to changing thousands of lives by helping people find their greatness and true potential through their Find Your Greatness Newsletter.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jason_Osborn

Saturday, March 17, 2007

The Art of Happiness- Be Happy Now

Would you like to be 100% happier than you are now? How about 1,000% happier? What stands between you and having greater happiness now? Read on to see how you can discover the happiness you're looking for in your life. It's just one step away.

Have you ever noticed how often people rely on others in their pursuit of happiness? How they expect someone else to make them happy? You might hear people say things like: "If only he would be nicer." "Didn't she know that would hurt my feelings?" "I would be happy if he would only talk to me more."

When people have this idea in their head they can spend a lot of time figuring out how to fix or change other people.

What's the trouble if you try this strategy? Not only do the other people feel irritated, they often get defensive at your attempt to "FIX" them. And it leaves you powerless. If THEY don't change, YOU can't be happy.

But even more important is that, since what you focus your attention on grows, focusing on what you don't like will cause it to become what you notice most in your life.

Say, for example, when your significant other comes home they often leave a trail with their clothes, bags, books, whatever, strewn throughout the house. It drives you nuts! Every time you look at the residue of stuff they leave behind them, you feel irritated.

This has gone on for so long that now you notice every little piece of debris, everywhere you look, all the time.

And what you focus your attention on grows.

Perhaps you say something like this to them: "Can't you pick up after yourself? You are such a slob."

It's probably not the first time you've talked about the clothes on the floor. And probably not much has changed since that first time. So what happens next?

The person leaving the clothes around probably gets annoyed at being told what to do. You lose hope that things will ever change. And you focus more and more on what you don't enjoy about your partner.

Remember, what you focus your attention on grows!

So here it is, the step that will move you closer to being happier than ever before: Develop YOUR ability to focus your attention on what you ENJOY.

Maybe this sounds too simple. But ask yourself: "What would my day be like if I started and ended it by simply noticing or remembering everything that I enjoy in my life?"

Remember, what you focus your attention on grows. Focus on what you enjoy - it's quite simply the fastest, easiest step you can take to start finding happiness in every moment.

Try this. Pretend that you have an emotional bank account. Every one of your thoughts makes a deposit. This means that if you're constantly depositing painful memories in your emotional bank account, they will grow and grow.

They'll even start multiplying if you're using the law of compound interest. What's this? It's compounding the effect of thoughts like: "What a slob!" with more thoughts like: "She doesn't care about me." or "He's the most selfish person I've ever met."

Now, do you feel happy?

Now imagine that each day, you look for things that you enjoy, and you are thankful for them.

Your significant other comes into the house and smiles. Is that something to be thankful for? They ask you if you would like a cup of tea. Is that something to be thankful for? You see them put something away, without being asked. Is that something to be thankful for?

Now imagine depositing these memories in your emotional bank account, day after day. And compound them with as many other thankful, grateful thoughts as you can so they grow and grow. "It's lovely when he brings me tea; he's so considerate sometimes." "I'm so glad we like doing things together." "We just have so much in common; she is so much fun to be with"

How do you feel now?

Happy or sad, good or bad, pleasure or pain - authentic happiness is up to you. Focus on what you enjoy. Enjoy being thankful. It's something anyone can do, even you.

What you focus your attention on will grow. You do have an emotional bank account so start saving your happiness up today. With a bank-full of thankful, you'll be a master at the art of "having happiness now."

The life you choose begins here:

Get your FREE 5-part email eCourse and discover how personal self improvement can lead to finding happiness.

Co Author: Neill Gibson

We are Beth Banning and Neill Gibson, founders of Focused Attention. Our mission is to bring you very effective self help and personal development tools, and the skills to use them well. Our passion is to help you build a strong foundation for deeply satisfying relationships in every area of your life.

Find out why over 80% of our clients agree: These courses are extremely effective for building your self acceptance, self esteem, and self confidence. Learn how you can reduce the stress of difficult conversations and problem situations, and accelerate your personal growth and ability to succeed at the same time.

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